Lucky Dragon and Chum
by Zokusho
Summary: This is an unrelated sequel to Seven Lucky Stars, set in 16th-century Japan. The story is mostly about the wacky adventures of a pair of samurai: a pigtailed tsundere and a maniacal blue-haired squirt...
1. In the Middle of Something

**Lucky Dragon and Chum, chapter 1: In the Middle of Something**

Okay, if I don't send this, I'll never get on with it. I don't care if anyone even reads this – I just have to publish the first chapter to get myself going.

This is a sequel to Seven Lucky Stars, but unrelated. You don't have to read that story if you don't want to. The background is explained at the end; in short, the story is set in 16th-century Japan and the characters of Lucky Star are wandering samurai. Gender roles are reversed in this world.

Rated T for more or less twisted humor, mildly erotic scenes, some violence, etc.

I don't own Lucky Star or its characters.

* * *

Sun shone upon the rolling, grassy hills of the countryside of Japan. It was a quiet summer day, with only the soporific song of grasshoppers and occasional buzz of bees sounding. Six people were walking on a road winding through the hills.

It was an odd collection of people. Two were leading the group. A tall, blond, green-eyed woman with long hair, another with short, green hair and wearing _gaijin_ goggles, also called glasses over her brown eyes. These two were followed by four younger women. A violet-haired, blue-eyed girl, a busty pink-haired one also wearing _gaijin_ goggles over purple eyes, and then, a few steps behind, an upright blue-eyed girl with two long violet pigtails, and finally, a very short girl with emerald eyes and blue hair reaching her heels. All wore silk kimonos and carried _daisho_, two swords indicating them being samurai – or pretending to be one, as these days two swords were not a sure sign of anything.

The blue-haired girl carried a backpack, and dragged along a ridiculously long sword sheath. She was also dragging her feet, raising small clouds of dust behind herself. She seemed to have trouble keeping her eyes open, staggering from the other side of the road to the other, and she kept panting and puffing, making moaning sounds, sighing, and wiping her brow.

"Kagami, I'm tired! Let's take a break!" the blue-haired girl whined and stopped in her tracks.

Most of the others stopped as well and looked back. The girl with pigtails didn't at first even bother to turn around. "Not again? Konata, we took a break barely an hour ago. You can't be tired!" she, now identified as Kagami, said.

Konata spread her arms. "There's no motivation!"

Hesitantly, Kagami turned around. "What?"

"I just want to have fun! We've been walking for days! It's so boring! Why didn't we rent palanquins! My feet hurt!"

"But it's just ten miles to Azuchi. We can stay at an inn for a change, if we get there today."

"Kagami, thank you for offering to pay the inn."

"I didn't say I would pay!"

"You were clearly implying it!"

"And why don't you have any money? I'll tell you why! You paid that Hiyo- … Tamura for those scribbles! And some of them depict us in … compromising situations. And while we did rest on the same futon once, I'm quite certain we had our clothes on! We were both wounded and dead tired!"

"Yeah, why did you waste all that money and didn't buy any sake? I know you like it too." Yui – the glasses-wearing woman with short, green hair – asked Konata.

"_Anoo…_" Tsukasa – the girl with short violet hair – said, but nobody paid any attention to her.

"No sake! The last time we were delayed an entire day because you passed out!" the blond samurai growled.

"Philistines! You don't appreciate art at all!" Konata yelled.

"_Sumimasen _… Kuroi-sensei …" Tsukasa said.

The blond woman – who had been called Kuroi-sensei – walked to Konata. "Now why don't you get rid of that backpack? Carrying that much weight must be tiresome."

"Never! It holds the _shunga_ I acquired, and the bundle of works Hiyori gave me! I will never leave it!"

"Are you planning to haul all that stuff to Nara, or even to Kyōto? I'm not going to carry it for you again!" Kagami snapped.

"Bandits!" Tsukasa screamed.

Finally, the others turned around and took a look. There were about a dozen bandits standing on the road. All were armed to the teeth – the leader held a katana, while the others had spears and _naginatas_. They had been trying to attract the samurai's attention for a while – only Tsukasa had taken any notice.

"Finally! Could you give us all your money, please?" the scarred woman standing at the head of the bandit group said. This bandit leader was wearing a tattered armor and held an unsheathed katana in her hands.

Not paying much attention to the bandits, Kagami turned back to Konata. "What are you going to do with those pictures anyway!?" she shouted at Konata. "You aren't planning to show them to anyone, are you? I forbid it! I absolutely forbid it!"

Virtual sweat drops appeared on the bandits' heads.

Kuroi walked to Kagami's side. "Come on, Kagami. What's the harm? Besides, nobody would identify you in them. You look far scarier in real life," Kuroi said.

"What? Has she shown them to you!?"

"Maybe Kuroi-sensei is about the only one here who can appreciate art, at least a little," Konata explained.

"Why you little twerp … I will take those scribbles now and burn them!" Kagami yelled.

"Over my dead body!" Konata exclaimed, and took a step back.

"That can be arranged …" Kagami growled.

"Excuse me!" the bandit leader shouted and walked to Kagami. "Stop ignoring us! I said, give me all your money, NOW!"

There was a flash of steel, as Kagami drew her katana in one, smooth motion, as if it was a needle instead of a sword. The bandit leader didn't have time to do anything, before Kagami's katana was pointed at her throat at a distance of half an inch. Kagami held her sword effortlessly, not even bothering to face the bandit fully. The sword's point was not wavering at all.

"You. Shut up and stop bothering us," Kagami hissed. "Can't you see we were having a discussion here?"

The other bandits took a step forward, but hesitated, as Kuroi and Yui drew their swords and took a stance like professional swordswomen – which they were.

The pink-haired _meganekko_ bowed at the bandits. "Excuse me, but my friends here eliminated a gang of forty bandits earlier ... and there are only twelve of you? I'm afraid you are vastly outnumbered. Therefore, I suggest that you put down your weapons and walk away. Please."

"Miyuki-san, don't spoil our fun …" Kuroi started, but was interrupted by the bandit leader.

The bandit leader dropped her sword and her eyes widened. "You … you are those who destroyed Misao's Clan! I should have recognized you! The blond general! Two _meganekko_! The fire-breathing pigtailed _tsundere_ dragon! The blue-haired demon dwarf! Run! Run for your lives!" she shouted, turned around and ran away. The other bandits panicked and scattered into all directions.

"Who are you calling a fire-breathing dragon, you … you … dirty thief!" the blushing Kagami shouted. "Just hope that I will never see you again!"

Kagami took a few deep breaths and sheathed her sword. "Anyway … where were we?"

"You were telling us that you want to pay the inn in Azuchi," Konata suggested.

"And that you would buy us lots of sake," Yui added.

"I never said anything like that! And why should I use my money? Because you have wasted yours?" Kagami said, and started walking.

Konata followed, with a thoughtful look on her face. "But Kagami, you wouldn't like your best friend to spend any more nights outdoors, wouldn't you? These summer nights get quite chilly sometimes. I might catch a cold. Or is that what you want? So that you could then take care of my little, weak body when I'm sick? That's actually quite _kawaii_!" Konata said, her face brightening and expression changing into a huge grin at the end.

Kagami hurried up ahead of Konata so that her face wouldn't show – she was not sure whether she was blushing but didn't want to show it if she was. "Of course I wasn't thinking anything like that! And that was really far-fetched, by the way. Just leave me out of your fantasies!"

* * *

"Oh, this is a big place!" Tsukasa said.

"Well, Azuchi was the late Lady Oda Nagako's capital. Lots of people moved in," Kuroi explained.

"And now they are moving to Osaka, now following Lady Toyotomi like flies …" Yui muttered.

"Excuse me; we have to wait for Kagami-san and Izumi-san. They have fallen behind again," Miyuki said.

Kuroi smiled and said, "Definitely. Kagami-san promised to pay the inn, so we must wait for her."

"Oh. I wasn't thinking about that!" Miyuki said.

Some thirty yards behind, Kagami was staggering under the load. First of all, she was carrying Konata's backpack, and Konata herself – seemingly dead tired – was leaning heavily on her arm. Had Kagami paid more attention, she might have noticed the sly looks from Konata's emerald eyes and how she smiled while pressing her cheek against Kagami's shoulder. _"How did__ I end up doing this again? This can't be just because I left her for dead at that battlefield in Kyūshū. I didn't even know her back then! I have no reason to feel obligated … "_

Her thoughts were interrupted as Konata tugged her sleeve and said, "Hey, what's that?"

She was pointing at a street kitchen. They had a large pot of boiling oil on hot coals, and were lifting some yellowish-brown bits of food from it with chopsticks.

A cook said, "_Irashaimase!_ We call this _tempura_. Shrimp and other things covered in batter and deep fried in oil. It's a _gaijin_ dish, from those _Potugiisu_ men. You know, the big, ugly, hairy, smelly ones. Who can't behave. But they brought some good dishes along."

Konata gestured for the others to come, ordered _tempura_ for everyone and paid it.

Kagami took a bite and, somewhat reluctantly, said, "This is good …"

"Kagami, thank you!" Kuroi said.

"What?"

Kuroi grinned and said, "Did you forget Konata had no money? She paid for it with yours …"

With her mouth full of deep-fried fish, Kagami was unable to answer right away. But her glare made Konata take a few steps back.

"Do you want to try some _aseto barusamiko_ with it? It's like their version of soy sauce," the cook added.

"_Balsamikosan!"_ Tsukasa said, and giggled. "Tehehehe. _Balsamikosan! Balsamikosan!_ Tehehe._ Balsamikosan!_"

"Tsukasa, that's really, really annoying! And you, you little twerp! Wait till I get my hands on you …" Kagami growled.

"Ooh! Kagami wants to ravage my body with her groping hands!" Konata chirped.

Eating another piece of _tempura _gave Kagami a moment to think of a comeback.

"We two will be alone traveling to Nara. The others won't be there protecting you …" Kagami said, eyeing Konata with narrowed eyes.

"Eep! … that's ... scary! I can't even tell whether you are joking or not … you are joking, aren't you?" Konata said, with a much more subdued tone.

* * *

**Background, and What Happened Before**

The gender roles in this version of medieval Japan are reversed; women are the heads of their families, men stay at home and take care of the household and children, all daimyos are female, and so is the Empress. Some historical names and terms (such as samurai instead of _bushi_) have been modified.

The story starts in Japan, at June, _Tensho _15, that is, 1587 CE. Lady Toyotomi Hideyoshii has succeeded her deceased liege, lady Oda Nagako, as the Chancellor of the Realm. With lady Tokugawa Asuko on her side, Toyotomi plans to reform and unite the country.

Last month, a wandering ronin, Nanako Kuroi agreed to protect a village against a group of bandits for no payment other than meals and lodging. Assisted with her old deputy, Yui Narumi, they gathered five more to assist them: the superb swordswoman Kagami Hiiragi, the impulsive Konata Izumi – also known as the Legendary Samurai A, the young Tsukasa Hiiragi, the not-so-skilled but all the more _moe_ Miyuki Takara, and the quiet bow mistress Minami Iwasaki. Through hardships, they managed to eliminate Misao's Clan of bandits. As they had known, this mission brought them neither wealth nor glory. In the end, it was the farmers who won, not the samurai. Minami Iwasaki, who admitted being a merchant's daughter, remained in the village with farmer Yutaka Kobayakawa, while the others traveled together to the city.

This story concentrates on the wacky exploits of the pair of samurai, Kagami and Konata – possibly with a hint of romance at some point. This could also become a story about an original pair of characters, a _tsunderekko-tsukkomi_ and an eccentric _boke_.

**Useless trivia:**

- Japanese palanquin, _kago,_ is rather different from European palanquins  
- "Philistines" is totally wrong here, but would anyone understand the equivalent Japanese term?

**Inspirations:**

- Anime: "Lucky Star"  
- Manga: "Lone Wolf and Cub"  
- Fanfic: "A Gamer's Dedication" by Anime Lover (at Nyou Fiction site), "Ahoge of the East" by RezzleVettems  
- Movies: "Seven Samurai  
- TV: "Xena the Warrior Princess"  
- Books: James Clavell's "Shōgun"  
- History: Azuchi-Momoyama period of Japan, Miyamoto Musashi

**About historical names:**

- Daimyo Oda Nobunaga (織田 信長) changed to Lady Oda Nagako (織田 長子).  
- Daimyo Shimazu Yoshishiro (島津 義弘) changed to Lady Shimazu Yoshishiiro (島津 義紫).  
- Kampaku Toyotomi Hideyoshi (豊臣 秀吉) changed to Toyotomi Hideyoshii (豊臣 秀好).  
- Daimyo Tokugawa Ieyasu (徳川 家康) changed to Lady Tokugawa Asuko (徳川 明日子).  
- The alternate names might not be properly constructed, but who cares…


	2. Alone in a Crowd

**Lucky Dragon and Chum, chapter 2: Alone in a Crowd**

This is a sequel to Seven Lucky Stars, but unrelated. You don't have to read that story if you don't want to. The background is explained in detail at the end of the first chapter. In short, the story is set in 16th-century Japan and the characters of Lucky Star are wandering samurai. Gender roles are reversed in this world.

Rated T for more or less twisted humor, mildly erotic scenes, some violence, etc.

I don't own Lucky Star or its characters. Sure would like to…

* * *

"There's the _ryokan_!" Konata chirped. The place was huge; it seemed to have dozens of rooms. Steam could be seen raising from behind the building complex – indicating that this place had its own hot springs.

"Why did you choose the most expensive place in this town?" Kagami groaned.

"Because we are going to our separate ways tomorrow. Us, to Nara, and the others to Kyōto. I want to make some good memories, for all of us to remember!"

"Okay, okay. I … trust you," Kagami said.

Konata dashed inside and shouted _"Sake!"_

"Konata, that's rude! Especially in a fine establishment like this," Kuroi said. "However … _sake!_" she shouted as well, and grinned.

"Yeah!_ Sake!"_, Yui shouted as well.

Several men ran to greet the customers, kowtowing deeply before them. "Welcome! Welcome!"

"And bath! Where's the bath! Bring us _sake_ there!" – "And men!" – "Why?" – "Bring lots of men for Yui and me to choose from!" – "Didn't you get any in that village we stayed so long at?" – "Nah, I don't like peasant men. Too uncivilized. And smelly." – "So? Men are men. As long as it is healthy and doesn't look too bad, who cares."

The others went on, chatting happily about men, except Tsukasa, who kept silent and was blushing a bit.

Kagami did join in to the conversation and followed the others hesitantly. And, exactly as she had hoped not to happen, Konata took notice. She turned around and talked to her. "Oi, Kagami! Come on! Aren't you excited to be served by a bunch of scantily dressed men?" This made everybody turn to look at her.

This was something she didn't enjoy at all, being the focus of attention. Blushing brightly, she stuttered, "O-of course not! I … I am only interested in _bushido_. I have no place for any men in my life!"

Konata walked towards her. Kagami's first instinct was to walk backwards. _"Why is she like the most frightening opponent I have ever had …"_ she thought. Resisting her instinct, she stood still when Konata approached – very close. Too close. Almost to a touching distance. Kagami could feel her body heat and smell her. After an entire day's travel, she smelled musky and sweaty, almost animalistic. The scent made Kagami feel light-headed. She couldn't help inhaling it deeply.

Against all civilized manners, Konata was now staring directly at her with her huge emerald eyes. Kagami stared back. From the corner of her eye, she saw all the others looking at this spectacle with great curiosity, which added to her embarrassment.

Suddenly, Konata twisted her mouth, wrinkled her nose, sucked her cheeks in, crooked her eyes, and stuck her tongue out; creating the most hilarious face Kagami had ever seen. Desperately, she tried to keep her calm, but involuntary burst into laughter. "Oh no! That face is too good! Stop it! Please!" Kagami cried, in between uncontrollable howls of laughter.

"I knew that would cheer you up the quickest."

"Kona-chan, let us see that face too!" Tsukasa said.

"Nah, you guys are far too cheerful already. Let's get to the bath! Oh, and Kagami – you own me one for losing in _niramekko_."

"Who said we had a staring contest?" Kagami groaned.

"I just did."

"Fine, fine. I have to admit that it was funny," Kagami said, and actually smiled a little. "So what do you want this time?"

"I got to think about it," Konata said, eyeing Kagami with a sly smile on her cute little face.

In the common bath, several men were already soaking in the water. The others rushed in, headed to the washing area and started to throw their clothes off. Kagami stopped on her tracks and turned to glare at the man who had been escorting them. "Is there a private bath?"

"Yes, ma'am! This way, please!" the man said and bowed.

"Kagami, where are you going? Don't you want to be with us?"

"Have all the fun you want, but I need some peace and quiet!"

The servant insisted that he should stay and serve all Kagami's needs, but she threw her out and slid the door close. Then, she slumped down onto a stool. Despite always being upright and vigilant, even Kagami did get tired. And now she was dead tired from practically dragging Konata along the last few miles. "She'll be the death of me … I should ditch her and go on my own way like I've been doing the last two years," she whispered. "She's hindering my training …" Yet, in the inside, Kagami knew that things had changed. The words that came out did not reflect her inner thoughts. _"Yeah, training … training for … what? For whom? Is there a point to hone my skills without a purpose in life?"_

Deep in thoughts, she put down her gear and started undressing.

As Kagami was soaking in the bath, she heard a low-pitched "Excuse me" from behind the door.

"What is it?"

"Lady's meal is here." There was something weird in that voice, but Kagami couldn't catch on to what.

"Okay. Bring it in. And leave the tray. I'll serve myself."

"But …"

"No! Bring it in, place it down, and leave me alone!"

Kagami pulled her wet towel onto her eyes and leaned back. She didn't even want to see the man bringing the meal in.

The door slid open. There was a faint tinkle when the servant lifted the tray and laid it down next to the the bathtub. But the man did not go away. Instead, he knelt beside Kagami.

"Get out!"

There was no answer. Kagami lifted the towel off her eyes. The first thing she saw was a mass of wet, blue hair on the floor. She looked up, and saw Konata, dressed in a clean y_ukata_, kneeling beside her and grinning widely. Konata's skin was pink and clean from scrubbing.

"Gyaaah! What the hell are you doing here!" Kagami shouted.

"I wanted to bring you food and thank you for today," Konata said, now in her normal voice.

"Get out! You make me crazy – " Kagami's expression changed. "What? … Thank me … for today?"

Konata's grin turned into a warm, sincere-looking smile. "Yeah. You carried my bag and let me hang onto your arm."

"I … I … you can't be serious. Since when have you been thankful about anything?"

"But I am! I am very grateful to you. Can I pour you some _sake_?"

"O … okay …" Kagami stuttered. _"Can she really be serious…?"_

Konata handed a cup to Kagami, and poured _sake_ from the bottle. Kagami sipped it, eyeing Konata. She was still feeling a bit suspicious.

"Open your mouth!" Konata commanded. She was holding a piece of raw fish in chopsticks.

Without thinking, Kagami opened her mouth. Konata bent down and brought the piece of food slowly towards Kagami's mouth. While doing this, Konata's face and emerald eyes came very close to Kagami's face. "Besides … I finally got to see some full frontal nudity. The water is crystal clear…" Konata whispered, breathing heavily.

Kagami screamed, grasped her towel and smacked Konata with it. The piece of raw fish flew away and her _sake_ cup plunged into the bathwater. Konata seemed to lose her balance, and dove into the bath, landing on Kagami's lap, face first. She began flailing wildly with her arms, and quickly surfaced, yelling and spluttering water around. "Ow! Ow! Hot! Hot!"

While trying to get away from the water, Konata leaned on Kagami with her hands, touching some very inappropriate areas. Kagami screamed, slipped, and was also submerged into the water. As quickly as she could, she kicked herself up and yelled, "Ow! Ow! Hot! Hot!"

Both struggled for a few seconds, and then managed to get out of the bathtub. Quickly, Kagami covered the strategic parts of her body with her hands. "Get out! Get out! Or I … you're lucky that I can't use my sword now!"

"But Kagami, what's the matter? Aren't we both girls here? Well, I know _you_ are a girl, at least. I saw it very clearly!" Konata chirped.

Kagami forgot about modesty and grasped her sword sheath. Konata realized that it was the time for her to flee. She jumped up and dashed out of the door – which was still open. Kuroi and Yui, both also dressed in _yukata_, were peeking from the sides of the doorway, almost doubling over in laughter. Heads of Miyuki and Tsukasa also popped into view. "Sorry! I didn't know what was going on! They dragged me here …" Tsukasa said.

Kuroi slammed the door shut just in time, and the flying food tray and its plates and dishes hit the door instead of them.

Half an hour later, Kagami, now wearing a _yukata_, came out. She gestured for the frightened servant that it was okay to clean up the place. She tried to slip quietly into the common room, where all the others were chatting and drinking _sake_ – and some having a young man sitting next to them.

Of course, everyone went silent and turned to look at her when she entered. Quietly, without even looking at the others, she sat at the first free place available. A cup of _sake_ was handed to her. She downed it and held the cup. Someone poured it full right away.

From the corner of her eye, she found out that she had sat down beside Konata. Who was pouring the _sake_. Kagami did not bother to thank her.

When the others resumed their chatting, Kagami whispered to Konata, "I have no idea why I put up with you. You don't care for other peoples' harmony. Your behavior is inexcusable."

"Kagami, can't you take a joke? Although … I was honest! I did want to see your body …"

"I don't want to hear about that! But at least I don't owe you anything from that … contest you declared earlier. I think you had enough … fan service already."

"It's settled then! Let's drink a friendship toast from the same cup. It's like an indirect kiss!"

"I absolutely refuse to do that!"

"It's okay. I already drank from that cup you are holding."

Kagami's blush – she had began blushing right from the moment she came in – again got somewhat deeper. She eyed the _sake_ cup with suspicion. _"I wonder from which side she drank?"_

"Yeah, turn the cup that way. I drank from that side!" Konata said.

"Eh … I … I … waiter! Bring me a clean cup!" Kagami screamed, sounding a bit hysterical.

"Just joking. That actually was a clean cup. But you sure were _kawaii_ when you tried to find the place my luscious, silky smooth lips had touched!" Konata exclaimed, and licked her lips in a way that looked somehow lewd.

Forcing her gaze away from Konata's lips, Kagami groaned, "I was trying to do the exact opposite!" But now she was not quite sure about it anymore. _"I hope it's just the sake taking effect …"_

To Konata's surprise, Kagami giggled. "I can't stay angry at you after all. You are so … random."

"So you still want me to come to Nara with you."

Kagami took a sip from her cup. "Yeah," she then whispered.

"I ordered more _sashimi_ for you since you destroyed your meal before eating any of it."

"Thank you … wait, I am paying for that as well! Why am I thanking you?"

"A toast!" Kuroi suddenly shouted. "A toast for our greatest swordswoman! Our most honorable, upright samurai, whose courtesy has brought us all together into this fine establishment! To Hiiragi Kagami –san!"

"Yeah! Banzai! Banzai!" everyone shouted, and raised their _sake _cups.

* * *

Rather short chapters, but can't be helped…


	3. Baby Cart from Hell

**Lucky Dragon and Chum, chapter 3: Baby Cart from Hell**

This is a sequel to Seven Lucky Stars, but unrelated. You don't have to read that story if you don't want to. The background is explained in detail at the end of the first chapter. In short, the story is set in 16th-century Japan and the characters of Lucky Star are wandering samurai. Gender roles are reversed in this world.

Rated T for more or less twisted humor, mildly erotic scenes, some violence, etc.

I don't own Lucky Star or its characters. Sure would like to…

* * *

Late at night, futons had been brought into the room. Most of the others had either passed out or were already asleep. Kagami had a hard time to fall asleep due certain people's drunken snoring, and because she was shocked and embarrassed by what had happened.

"_Kuroi and Yui, fortunately just them … they just … took those males and … used them like that. How disgusting. At least they had the decency of doing it in private,"_ she thought.

"Kagami? Didn't you wonder how it would have been like?" Konata whispered.

"Certainly not! I didn't think about that at all!"

Konata giggled. "But I didn't even say what I was talking about! So you _were_ thinking about it."

Kagami groaned.

"I bet you are still a virgin," Konata said.

"Like I said, I only care about perfecting my skills. I don't have time for such trivial matters."

"Don't worry, Kagami. I am a virgin too."

"You … don't tell me such embarrassing things!"

"It's just the truth. I don't fancy men."

"Good. In that case, we don't need to talk about that."

"No, Kagami, you didn't understand. I said I didn't fancy men."

"Okay."

It took several seconds for Kagami to realize what Konata actually meant. She sprung up and gasped.

"Wh … wh … what? You don't say …"

"_Baka._ Wasn't it obvious?"

"I … I … how should I know? And I didn't even need to know that!"

"Do you fancy men or women then?"

"I won't answer such intimate questions. Besides, who cares? I am only interested in perfecting …"

"So you always say, but are you? Really?"

"Shut up. And let me sleep. Let's not talk about this."

That conversation did not exactly help Kagami to catch sleep that night.

After breakfast, it was finally the time for the group to break up. Konata and Kagami were heading to Nara, others directly to Kyōto.

"Bye! Bye! See you later!" Kagami shouted, and waved her hand.

Kagami stood there, watching the others walking away, deep in thoughts.

"_Finally! Wait, what … why did I want to get rid of all the others? I did! I kinda wanted them to go away. I wanted … oh no ... I wanted to be … with Konata … just Konata. I can't believe it. Why do I want to be with HER?"_

"Kagami?"

"_Back in there … when she was shot by the bandits and I thought she was dying … I said something. She doesn't remember it. I barely remember it myself. But I know what it was. I remember. I said I …"_

"Kagami! Hello? Earth to Kagami! Wake up!"

"_I … I can't even think about it. I could never say it. Not to myself, certainly no to her. What if she rejects me … no! It's too much to even think about it. I have to forget about it. It's wrong anyway. Wrong, wrong, wrong! And I already have a husband. Or, would have had, if I had returned home. I never liked that kid. What's the big idea to be betrothed as kids – "_

"Kagami!"

"What!? What!?" Kagami shouted. "Is there a problem? Why are we standing here? Why don't we get going? Oh! S-sorry…" Again, she felt the familiar hot sensation on her cheeks. _"I'm blushing again."_ Thinking about it made her blush even more.

"Together at last, Kagami? Just the two of us!" Konata said.

"_Damn. She hit the nail on the head …" _Kagami thought, and said, "Yeah. Just us …"

They stood at the crossroads and looked as the other four samurai walked away.

Konata stretched her arms and yawned. "Ahh … first night on a real futon for a long time! I slept really, really well! However … if I just had had someone to warm me up. It got a bit cold at the morning."

Konata was eyeing Kagami in a way that made her even more uneasy than usual.

"Stop looking at me that way."

"Which way?" Konata asked innocently.

"You know … that way!"

"No, I don't. What kind of way do you mean?"

"… just stop it."

"I can't, if you don't tell me what you mean."

Kagami groaned, rubbed her aching head with her palms, turned around, and started walking. Sighing, Konata went after her.

After a couple of miles, Konata spoke. "So, Kagami. Can you remind me, why are we going to Nara anyway?"

"Have you forgotten? I need to … pray. Because of the … things I have done."

"Oh. You mean the merciless killing of all the innocent people."

It took a long time for Kagami to answer. "Yes. I know that I was under orders of my liege, but …"

"Shouldn't your liege be held responsible then?"

"Maybe. But she is dead. Anyway, I don't want to talk about it. Nobody will order me around anymore and now I myself am responsible for whatever I do."

"You are doing great, Kagami."

"Th … thank you."

"I admire you. You didn't want to kill even any of the bandits."

"You … shouldn't admire me for that. It's so little compared to what I have to atone for."

Konata sighed. "All this serious talk makes me feel gloomy. Let's stop being serious. Here, drink some _sake_."

"What, are you drinking _sake_ at this time of the day already?"

"Let's drink it all so that I don't have to carry it."

"I happen to know you gave your collection for the others to carry to Kyōto."

"Oh. So you did notice."

Kagami stopped. "I don't have to look at those perverse pictures anymore. Thank you." She held her hand out. "So. Give me some _sake_, then. Today, we will do things your way!"

Konata's eyes shone brightly. "_Honto_?"

"Within reasonable limits!" Kagami quickly added.

Konata giggled and handed Kagami a jar of _sake._ Kagami took a large sip of it.

Half an hour later, both were staggering a bit while walking, and Konata was trying to teach Kagami the song, _Kuroda bushi_.

"Let's sing _Yasugi bushi_ next!"

Konata bent down, started doing weird hip movements and sang in a very high-pitched voice, _"Izumo-o-o-oooo mei-i-bu-u-u-u-tsu nimotsu-u-n-i-i-i-i-i …"_

Kagami doubled over in laughter. "That's so … weird! What the heck is that?"

"It's the loach scooping dance! Hey, I must teach you it! Do we have a basket anywhere? Oh well, just hold a _sake_ jar and pretend it is a basket. Like this."

Konata pushed the jar in front of her, continuing the silly movements. After a while, she pretended to hold a wriggling fish in her hands, and seemingly tried to stuff it into the jar.

Kagami tried to imitate, but was laughing too hard to have much success.

They were interrupted by a group of mounted samurai which had suddenly appeared from behind a hill. The riders were looking at them with their mouths open.

"Konata. Would you stop doing that! We are blocking the way of those samurai."

"Oh. Hello! What's up!"

"Konata, that's not the proper way to address … hmm, I don't recognize their clan. Let's just get out of the way."

The riders didn't speak to them, but looked at them with great curiosity as they passed by.

"Kagami," Konata whispered. "They were from Mori clan."

"Mori? That's far away. Wonder what they are doing here?"

"Who cares? As you said, we don't have a liege. Doesn't concern us."

"I'm afraid it will, eventually. Since … my clan still exists. I think. After all, we were on the winning side."

"For once I'm glad to have been a loser. No need to worry about all that."

"We must have looked like village idiots, singing and dancing like that!" Kagami suddenly realized.

"That's even better. Let's be idiots. No one will bother us!"

"You got a point, but I'm not sure whether I can do that all the time."

"Let's go. I'll teach you the song," Konata said, and started singing the high-pitched _Yasugi bushi_ again.

* * *

At the evening, very dark clouds started to gather onto the sky. A cold wind blew over the fields, raising clouds of dust.

"Uh-oh. Looks like there's a storm brewing up," Konata said.

"See that ramshackle barn ahead? Let's see if we can take shelter there."

The barn, while in a poor condition, still had a ceiling and walls, and seemed better than nothing. Curiously, the place was half filled by all sorts of broken furniture and tools. They found a few bales of rice straw which could be used as a bed. Konata put pieces of wood into an old, rusty cooking pot and lit them with her flint and steel.

"Isn't this great? We have a shelter, a warm fire, and a bed for just the two of us."

"That last part sounded a bit suspicious, but yeah, it's cozy in here."

The light from their improvised campfire revealed more of the junk stored in the barn.

"Look at all that weird stuff. Where did all this junk came from?"

Konata started to move things around.

"Leave it! What are you searching for?"

"I think I saw something strange under this pile of junk."

Something strange was indeed revealed. It was a small, four-wheeled push cart.

"It's … a baby carriage," Kagami noted.

Konata pushed the cart around. "It's in perfect condition. Kagami! We must keep this thing!"

"No, we must definitely not! You are thinking about filling it with _shunga_ and other … art."

"Yeah, and _manga_. But wouldn't it be much easier for you to push this rather than carry it?"

"Why should I transport your stuff around anyway?"

Konata went silent. She came to Kagami and sat next to her, warming her little hands on their campfire.

"Kagami. I need to tell you something."

"You sound serious. I never expected that."

"It's about Nara. There's a slight problem with going to Nara. Nothing serious! I think …"

"I do remember your first reaction when I mentioned Nara. Why didn't you say anything earlier? You wouldn't have had to accompany me if that was a problem."

"No, I want to be with you! It's just that … there are some people in Nara who might not … like me."

"Who?"

"Ehh … it's nothing, probably. And they aren't too influential. I think. Besides, Toyotomi might have gotten rid of them."

"What is this party you have aggravated? Tell me now!"

"Just some … _sōhei_ of Nara."

"_Sōhei_! Buddhist warrior monks. A virtual army of people in Nara are after you?"

"It's not like that. I just … ehh … challenged a few of them into a duel the last time I was in Nara. Just for fun! And of course, I won all the duels, and now every one of them who sees me wants to fight me."

"_Sōhei_! Those women train all their lives! All the time!"

"Well, yeah. So what? They aren't as talented as we are. We can beat 'em! If I can, surely you can too. I hate to say it, but you are even better than me."

"But I don't want to fight them!"

"I know. And that baby cart gave me an idea. I could disguise myself so that they wouldn't recognize me. Just a moment, I'll show you."

Konata gathered all her hair and tied it into a tight ponytail. Then she took a piece of cloth and wrapped it around her forehead, hiding her hair completely. She placed her bag into the cart, jumped inside and arranged her legs comfortably. She opened her kimono and wrapped it around her, hiding her legs and hands inside.

It looked exactly like there was a baby inside the cart. Without a closer look, one could have believed that the person in the cart was less than two years old. To add to the effect, Konata cooed and babbled like a baby.

Kagami stood up and took a few steps back. She was blushing again. "Konata … that's … that's the weirdest thing I have ever seen …"

"Great disguise, isn't it?"

"I can't even describe how strange that is. You look just like a baby. It makes me … sick." Kagami couldn't find any other word for what she was feeling. It was an overload of cuteness which turned her stomach and made her heart flutter.

"Should I add a diaper for extra effect?"

Kagami had to lean onto the wall. "Konata, that … that … _really_ crossed the line!"

"_Okaasan!"_ Konata chirped.

"Ugh … please stop. I'm about to pass out."

"If you hate this so much, there is an alternative. I heard it from one of the bandits. The one I took the musket from, in fact."

"What?!?"

"Well, I told her a friend of mine feels guilty about killing. She said that drinking _sake_ and having sex helps her to forget!"

"Okay, you _are_ going to be disguised as a baby!" Kagami said.

Konata took her little hand to her mouth and started to suck her thumb.

"Get out of that cart! That was too much! Far too much!" Kagami groaned, holding her head. She collapsed onto the bales of rice straw, face down, and tried to regain her sanity.

Giggling, Konata got out of the cart and lied down beside Kagami. "Good night, _okaasan_!"

"No! Aargh! Stop it!" Kagami shouted, and pounded the rice straw with her fists.

* * *

Next morning, the storm had subsided.

"Konata. Get out of that cart! We won't be doing that before we get closer to Nara!"

"But shouldn't we practice it a bit?"

"No!"

Next day, Kagami found herself pushing the cart with Konata in it anyway.

"Hm … there are people ahead, and we are getting closer to Nara. Should we try the disguise?"

"Okay … let's just hope they swallow it. Otherwise it will be really embarrassing."

Konata hid her hair and wrapped herself up. Kagami tried not to look at her, knowing it would be much too cute for her.

The people on the road were apparently local farmers. They were apparently having some kind of a dispute with a woman dressed in saffron robes and carrying a _naginata_.

"Kagami, that's one of the _sohei_. I don't know that one, but …" Konata whispered.

"Ssh. Let's try to pass them without attracting any attention."

However, a samurai pushing a baby cart was bound to attract attention. The farmers quickly got out of the way. The _sohei_ looked at them with great curiosity.

"Oh, what a cute baby you got there, Lady! May I take a closer look?"

Kagami twitched and said, "No!"

"But I like babies! They are so cute and cuddly. Does she have teeth already?" the _sohei_ asked.

One of the farmers addressed the _sohei_, "Excuse me, mistress monk, but may I suggest you give way to Lady and her baby. A samurai woman protecting her baby is the most frightening thing."

Kagami glared at the farmer. "How dare you call me frightening!"

All the farmers took a few steps back. The one that had advised the _sohei_ dropped to her knees and bowed down to the ground.

"I'm so sorry, Lady! Please forgive me! I didn't mean that you are frightening! I mean, it is said that women are at their most beautiful when they have given birth for the first time! Or was it when they were pregnant? Can't remember … anyway, sorry!"

The _sohei_ woman approached the cart. Konata started to cry, imitating a baby's crying.

"Oh no, mistress monk. Now the baby is crying!"

"You little brat! Shut up! You are ruining everything!" Kagami shouted at "her baby".

"Aww. Lady, please don't yell at your baby. She's just hungry! Aren't you going to feed her?" the _sohei_ asked Kagami.

Slowly, Kagami's expression changed when she realized what that meant and when the image of how babies are fed came into her mind. The "baby" stopped crying as well and blushed brightly.

"Oh no! That was too much! Why did I have to imagine that!" Kagami groaned and slapped her palm on her forehead.

The baby Konata couldn't help it, but burst into rather un-babylike roars of laughter.

Kagami screamed, and started to run, pushing the cart forward as quickly as she could. Everyone could hear the baby's cackling until they disappeared behind a bend in the road.

The _sohei_ woman just stood in the middle of the road, with a dumbfounded look on her face. "What on Earth was all that about?"

* * *

Check out Yasugi bushi (or yasukibushi), there's a performance of it in Youtube. It can be seen in Marimite Spring episode three as well. Actually, it is from Meiji period, but who cares...


	4. Nara Narration

**Lucky Dragon and Chum, chapter 4: Nara Narration**

This is a sequel to Seven Lucky Stars, but unrelated. You don't have to read that story if you don't want to. The background is explained in detail at the end of the first chapter. In short, the story is set in 16th-century Japan and the characters of Lucky Star are wandering samurai. Gender roles are reversed in this world.

Rated T for more or less twisted humor, mildly erotic scenes, some violence, etc.

I don't own Lucky Star or its characters. Sure would like to…

* * *

After pushing the cart at top speed for a mile, Kagami was finally out of breath and threw herself onto the grass beside the road.

Konata peeked out from the cart.

"No … don't say anything! … I don't want to hear it!" Kagami panted.

"But Kagami, didn't you think – "

"I can't hear you, la-la-la-la-la!" Kagami shouted, holding her hands on her ears.

Konata got out of the cart and stood beside Kagami, waiting until she uncovered her ears again.

"Sorry, Kagami. I promise I will never mention breast-feeding."

"You just did!"

"But wasn't the thought just a bit … exciting?"

"No!"

"Although your _oppai_ aren't that big…"

"Stop!"

Konata knelt down beside her. "Kagami, I don't understand. You said you are only interested in perfecting your skills. If so, you shouldn't be bothered by what I do."

Kagami turned her head and looked at Konata – whose emerald eyes were staring back at her. Staring directly and deeply into another person's eyes was uncustomary. Yet, Kagami decided not to avert her gaze. Neither did Konata. "Are you challenging me?" Kagami finally said. Both continued their eye contact.

"Yeah!"

"You don't mean a duel?" Kagami said, more as a notice than a question.

"No. I say, if you are interested only in _bushido_, then my shenanigans should not bother you."

"Okay … you got a point. Whatever you do shouldn't indeed matter. Within reasonable limits."

"Oh. In that case, we'll have to set the limits!"

Finally, Konata closed her eyes and turned her gaze away, making Kagami feel a moment of great relief. She was already about to give up – remembering that Konata could always use her invincible _niramekko_ face.

"Right. Setting the limits, starting from … now! Talking about your _oppai_."

"What?!?"

"That is within reasonable limits, isn't it? So, it should not bother you."

"I don't claim those things would never bother me, but they certainly would not derail me from the way of the samurai. Besides, you know that I train for hours daily. I practice a strike of a sword a thousand times every day. That's the only reason I have small breasts!"

"No reason to be upset. I like them! Small breasts are an asset and there's a demand for them. Mine are small too. Want to see?"

"No."

"Oh yeah, you had already seen them before."

"Yes ... I mean, no! I didn't look at them!"

"Yeah, sure. Well, how about some hot girl on girl action then? Talking about it, or, checking out some _yuri shunga_ or _manga_ would not tickle your fancy?"

"No, it doesn't. I can look at those but there's no point because it won't affect me in any way."

"We'll see about that. When we get to Kyōto, you have to go through my entire collection!"

"They are just lewd pictures. I dislike them, but they don't mean anything to me."

"Okay, so you say you aren't really distracted by talking about things or seeing things. How about touching then?"

"What do you mean?"

"So, if I hold your hand like this – " Konata grasped Kagami's hand " – is that within the limits?"

"Sure. Doesn't bother me the least," Kagami exclaimed, trying to sound confident. However, now she was getting a bit nervous. _"Be still, my hand … don't shake! And don't sweat …"_

Konata let go of Kagami's hand, lied down beside her and snuggled close.

"It wouldn't mean anything to you if I cuddle up next to you like this?"

"No. Except that it's getting a bit hot, with the sun shining and all."

"And if I place my hand here – " Konata wriggled her hand under Kagami's neck and around her shoulder " – you feel nothing at all?"

"That's right. I don't like it, but I don't care, either."

Despite seemingly calm and impassive, Kagami did feel Konata's touch very strongly. She had to struggle very hard to not show any kind of reaction.

Konata giggled and moved her other hand to the side of Kagami's neck and caressed it.

Instinctively, Kagami sighed, closed her eyes and tilted her head slightly backwards.

Konata grasped Kagami's cheek and forced her to turn her face left, towards her own face. Kagami opened her eyes and she found herself again staring directly at Konata's huge emerald ones.

"I feel nothing at all!" Kagami declared. In reality, she had nearly run out of willpower to stay still and not to react.

"What if I jumped on top of you now? Would that be within the limits?"

"No, that's an assault. Out of limits."

"Then, how about I kiss you on the lips?" Konata said, and brought her face uncomfortably close to Kagami's.

"What? The baby has grown up and … is making out with her mother!" someone said.

Both turned their heads and saw the _s__ō__hei_ from earlier, staring at them in horror. Slowly, her expression changed. "You're … you're … Legendary samurai A!" she gasped, pointing at Konata.

"Great. Now she recognized you," Kagami said. "What can we do?"

"We'll have to get rid of her. Otherwise she will tell everyone about our plot," Konata replied. Sighing, she let go of Kagami and got up, dusting her kimono.

"No, you must not. She has done nothing to deserve death," Kagami noted.

"Well … she interrupted us!"

"That's not a valid reason!"

The _s__ō__hei_ listened to the conversation with her mouth open. "Hey, wait a minute!" she then yelled, and readied her _naginata_.

Kagami stood up as well.

"Konata, stand back. I will handle this," she said. Turning to the _s__ō__hei_, she said, "Listen, we don't mean any harm to you but you can't be allowed to be in Nara for a day or two. We have business there and we don't want any trouble."

"If I have to challenge you before Legendary samurai A, I will do it! Ready your sword!" the _s__ō__hei_ said.

"Be reasonable. You don't need to get hurt," Kagami said.

The _s__ō__hei_'s face turned red. "How rude! Know that I have trained all my life! I have never lost a duel!"

Kagami sighed. "Oh no, do I really have to?" she asked, addressing Konata.

"Maybe you could just hit her on the head. Sometimes people lose their memory when that happens," Konata suggested.

Kagami didn't bother to draw her sword, she just charged at the _s__ō__hei._ Slightly taken by surprise, the _s__ō__hei_ swung her _naginata_ at Kagami. She paced her movement to allow the blade to swing past her, and then she grabbed the center of the _naginata._ Using the weapon's momentum, she twisted it, partially breaking the _s__ō__hei_'s grip. Kagami jerked the weapon hard, then suddenly changed the direction and smashed the blunt end of it on the side of the _s__ō__hei_'s head.

"Like this?" Kagami said. "I hope I didn't hit her too hard."

"Nicely done. I think that was just right. She'll be out for a couple of hours, and won't remember what happened, until later. I have seen that happen many times …"

Kagami and Konata dragged the unconscious _s__ō__hei_ to the nearby bushes, set her comfortably down on the ground and placed her _naginata_ beside her.

"That's that. Let's go. I'm afraid you'll have to get into the cart," Kagami said.

"We haven't finished our very important discussion yet!" Konata protested.

"No, and we won't be finishing it now. I … we need a private place for that. It must wait."

"Aww. Okay then. Let's get this Nara business out of the way," Konata said, and began to disguise herself as a toddler again.

* * *

Several_ s__ō__hei_ were hanging around the gates to Nara, checking out the people and merchandise coming in. Most of them did not bother to pay much attention in the heat of the summer day, and most of the people were just gestured to pass by.

However, a samurai woman pushing a baby cart struck them as a bit unusual. Two _s__ō__hei_ approached, and bowed respectfully. Other of them asked, "Lady, may respectfully I ask who you are and what is your business in Nara?"

"I am Hiiragi Kagami, but my business here is none of your business. Move out of the way!"

Curiously, there was a long sword sheath sticking out from the cart. Apparently, it was the baby's sword. _"Even samurai babies have swords these days?"_ the _s__ō__hei_ woman wondered, but did not dare to vocalize this thought.

The _s__ō__hei_ came closer and peeked into the cart. "Hiiragi? Isn't your clan allied to Toyotomi-sama …" she said, but was overwhelmed by the intolerable cuteness of the baby girl, who was sucking her thumb and looking back at her with huge emerald eyes. "Ohhh … she's so cute! Lady, you shouldn't allow her to suck her thumb, though. Her teeth may become crooked."

Kagami hesitated to look at "her baby", knowing that the sight would be sickeningly cute. She forced herself not to be fascinated, slapped Konata's hand, and said, "That's more than enough! Stop it already!"

The _s__ō__hei _was a bit shocked. "Please, Lady, don't hit the cute baby!"

"She deserved it! In fact, she would deserve to be spanked!" Kagami snapped.

The baby cooed questioningly.

"And stop making those noises! They are beyond reasonable limits!" Kagami shouted.

All the _s__ō__hei_ stared at Kagami with horror. "Those samurai ladies are really hard on their children" … "She's scary!" … "I feel sorry for the baby!" … they muttered.

The _s__ō__hei_ who had come closer stepped out of the way. Kagami pushed the cart past them.

"Okay, that worked, but it really gets on my nerves. I don't know how long I can keep doing this," Kagami whispered.

"Yeah. You don't have much acting skills."

"That's not what I meant."

"Hey, I know that inn. It's a nice place. Let's stay there tonight!"

"I planned to get out of this town today!"

"But I want to stay at that inn! If we don't stay there, I … I will cry!"

"So now you are turning into a real baby."

"Waah! Waah!"

"Not again! Stop it!"

"Shut up! Shut up or I slap you!" Kagami realized everyone was now staring at her and turned bright red. She dashed forward, trying to get away from the crowd. But there were people everywhere. Finally, she found a secluded alley and dashed into it. Konata stopped pretending.

Kagami groaned and rubbed her head. "Okay, okay. If you just stop doing that, we'll stay at the inn."

"Thanks, mom!"

"Don't call me mom! And from now on, if you use that tactic to blackmail me, I will dump you from that cart and leave you there!"

"Sorry, Kagamin. Perhaps I went a bit too far."

After resting for a while to calm her nerves, Kagami pushed the cart back onto the streets and towards the great gate of Tōdai-ji temple. Other temple-goers stared at them with curiosity. To people's amusement, even the samurai lady's baby seemed to be awed by the sight of the great temple and the two 300-feet tall pagodas.

Kagami pushed the cart inside, and they finally faced the great _Daibutsu_, a 50-foot statue of Lady Buddha. Kagami was about to clap her hands together and to start praying, but her thoughts stopped her.

"_Why am I here …"_ Kagami thought. _"Do I think I have bad karma? I have already been reborn as one of the most exalted beings in the world, a samurai lady … and what purpose does this statue have? Worshipping her is just superstition. No. There's nothing to do here after all. But I had to come here to realize it. Enlightenment doesn't come from a great statue or from praying."_

Clapping of hands was heard from the baby cart, which completely astonished the other temple-goers. "Ooh! A child prodigy! Look, that small baby is praying!"

"Wh – what? Konata!" Kagami gasped. Konata held her palms together and mumbled prayers.

"Stop that," Kagami hissed. "The _s__ōhei_ might notice us."

"Aren't you going to pray, Kagami?" Konata whispered.

"No. It would be meaningless. I'll explain it later. Let's just get out of here before you attract more attention," Kagami whispered back.

When going outside, Kagami saw from the corner of her eye that people were talking to the _s__ō__hei_ and pointing after them. There was also one familiar-looking _s__ōhei_, looking sore and having a bandage around her head.

"Kagami, she came to her senses and is back," Konata whispered.

"Damn. I should have hit her harder." Kagami hurried through the streets, trying to get ahead of possible pursuit, and pushed the cart inside the stables of the inn.

* * *

Later that evening, they were having dinner in their room.

"So, Kagami, should we get to the bath and continue our discussion about reasonable limits?"

"No. Not now. We are surrounded by enemies. Can't you sense it?"

"Yeah, but they are gathering their courage – which is funny, because they are a large group, attacking just two people. I thought we could pass the time. They won't come until long after midnight."

"You know we can't just sit here. We have to take the initiative and choose the time and place of the battle."

"Of course."

"Damn those _s__ō__hei_! Now I can't enjoy this meal fully and we won't be able to spend the night here. They should think about what they do – they almost make me angry!"

"Oh. That's really dangerous. We should give them a strict warning while we are pulverizing them. Anyway, what's the plan? … No, wait. I'll write it down. Then, you say what you think, and then we compare."

"Why should we do that?"

"It's a strategy contest! We'll see whose plan is better, or if we are thinking about the same thing."

"Okay then. Start writing."

Using a burnt coal from the heater, Konata scribbled a few kanji on the paper. "Done!"

"We should go to the roof, get the cart from stables and charge through them," Kagami said.

"Oh," Konata said, and quickly crumpled the paper. "That … er … was about the same as my idea …"

"Hey! What did you write? I want to see it!"

Konata stuffed the crumpled paper into her mouth and tried to swallow it.

Kagami jumped up, bounced on Konata and tried to pry her mouth open. "Give me that!"

She managed to rip a corner of the paper out, but Konata swallowed the rest, with obvious difficulty. "Yuk! That tasted horrible!" she complained.

"I hope you get sick. What was the big idea?" Kagami shouted. Then, she took a look at the piece of paper she was holding. Konata's plan started, "Kagami strips naked".

"This is not a strategy, it's a fantasy. Your fantasy!"

"Come on, Kagami. That strategy does work. I have tested it!"

"How could that have worked? And why did you get rid of that paper so fast?"

"I … eh … admit that your plan was much better."

"Explain!"

Konata flinched. "Err … they would have been completely frozen in terror when they would have seen you nude, covered in …"

"Stop! I don't want to hear it after all. How much _sake_ have you been drinking?"

"I'm perfectly sober! Or, I mean, not enough to have any effect. Much effect. I'm not drunk!"

"Had it been you that won this contest, you would have demanded a price. So, I'll do exactly that."

"Okay. What do you want?"

"I don't know yet. Let's just say that you owe me one."

"_Hai, hai_ …" Konata said, with a subdued voice.

* * *

Just dialogue this time, mostly. And still it was agonizingly slow to write. Perhaps I'm trying too hard – all the earlier stories (before Seven Lucky Stars) came out rather quickly.

Kagami is becoming more of a Zen Buddhist.


	5. Deer Pressure

**Lucky Dragon and Chum, chapter 5: Deer Pressure**

This is a sequel to Seven Lucky Stars, but unrelated. You don't have to read that story if you don't want to. The background is explained in detail at the end of the first chapter. In short, the story is set in 16th-century Japan and the characters of Lucky Star are wandering samurai. Gender roles are reversed in this world.

Rated T for more or less twisted humor, mildly erotic scenes, some violence, etc.

I don't own Lucky Star or its characters. Sure would like to…

* * *

"So, are we going? See if we can get through the ceiling."

Kagami went near to the wall, laced her fingers together and placed her palms for Konata to step upon. Konata took hold of Kagami, and placed her foot on Kagami's hands. Then she stopped.

Due to Kagami's bent position, Konata's face was now very close to hers. "_Anoo_ … what are you doing?" Kagami whispered.

"I'm not sure … although I know what I would _like_ to do just now …" Konata whispered, and licked her lips slowly with the tip of her tongue.

"Th – this is the wrong time for fooling around. Get on with it!"

Sighing, Konata climbed upon Kagami's shoulders and pulled herself on top of the ceiling beams.

"It's just a thatched ceiling. If we crawl through here, we get to the stable's roof, I think."

Kagami handed their swords and things to her, and then, assisted by Konata, pulled herself up as well. Carefully, they displaced some of the thatch. Konata peeked through. "Some of them are in the front yard," she whispered. Avoiding any noise, they moved onto the next roof and went around to the back side of the stables, and entered it through the roof.

"I'll take this thick bamboo," Konata said. "I'll sit in the cart, you push me through and I smack them."

"Okay. I'd better take a stick as well."

They moved the cart nearer to the doorway and readied themselves. "Ready? One, two, three!" Kagami whispered, and pushed the cart into motion.

As they approached the group of _s__ō__hei_ standing in the yard, Konata stood up in the cart, and let out a very loud _ki_ scream. Most of the _s__ō__hei_ thought that they were being attacked by a demons in a war chariot – one, swinging a bamboo staff and her long blue hair swaying free, and another, lilac-haired one with pigtails running behind the cart, with a terrifying frown on her face.

The _s__ō__hei_ forgot all their training and discipline and scattered to all directions. Still, many of them were too slow to react and got smacked by either Konata or Kagami as they ran past them. It took a minute or two for the uninjured ones to recover from the shock and to begin pursuit. By then, the cart was already far away.

Being unfamiliar with the town, and not seeing much in the dark of the night, Kagami took a wrong turn.

"Kagami! This is the wrong way!"

A long, if not very steep, downhill was ahead.

"Oops … I can't stop the cart!"

"Never mind then, let's go this way. They will lose our tracks – if they dare to pursuit us at all."

Hanging on the handle, Kagami could only run after the cart and steer it just enough so that it would not topple or swerve off the path. Konata hung on, trying not to fall off.

Finally, they ended up on a large lawn, with trees growing here and there.

"Hey! It's the park of Nara! Too bad it's dark, we can't see the place too well."

"I … don't … care … about … tourist … attractions …" Kagami said, in between panting heavily. She took a moment to catch her breath, and then started to push the cart ahead.

"Wait a minute! Why am I _still_ pushing you around in this cart? Get off of it! You can walk from now on! In fact, _you_ should be pushing this cart around!"

"This is a smart cart!"

"What?"

"It has already made you smarter!"

"What a terrible joke … yuk! I stepped on something!"

"Eww! Me too!" Konata exclaimed, as she jumped off the cart.

"There's something squishy on the ground."

"Deer."

"What?"

"This park is full of tame deer. They poop a lot."

"There's one!" Kagami said. Indeed, a deer was approaching. It didn't seem to fear humans at all. However, it focused its attention to the cart, putting its head inside.

"Hey! Stop that!" Konata shouted, and poked the deer's behind with her bamboo.

Accustomed to minor annoyances, the deer ignored her completely, and continued digging into the cart.

"Konata! What do you have in the cart?"

"Oh. Just … some foodstuff. _Daikon_, _gingko_ nuts, seaweed, rice and so on. I thought I would cook something nice for you on the road. Hey, stop stealing our food!" Konata shouted. This time she smacked the deer's behind hard. The animal bellowed, and dashed away.

However, there were already several more deer coming. Konata yelled at them, and poked and swung at them with her bamboo, trying to keep them away from the cart. "We don't have any _shika senbei!_ Get off! These are worse than the _s__ō__hei_!" Konata exclaimed.

"Don't harm those deer! They are sacred. Let's get out of here. Which way we should go to get out of this town?"

"This way!"

"Are you sure? Hey, wait! Do you expect me to push the cart? Konata!" Kagami shouted, but hurried after her, pushing the cart anyway.

A herd of deer followed them.

* * *

Even in these old days, there was a part of Nara that didn't sleep at nights. Yes, even in a sacred town like this, there was the entertainment district, with dozens of taverns and inns, with males offering all sorts of entertainment to their female clients – including services of explicit nature. This night, however, became something they didn't forget for a while. The Night of the Deer Invasion. Some said the White Deer _kami_ showed his disapproval of such a district in his town. Others claimed that it was a sign of approval instead.

Nevertheless, a deer sticking its head through the paper wall of a certain building interrupted a very intimate moment between the district mayor and two males entertaining her. Three deer burst into a bathhouse, causing nude males to run screaming into the streets. Several deer were caught in the kitchen of the most exquisite tavern, eating the prepared vegetables.

People chasing the deer out found even more deer invading their streets. It took the combined efforts of the district population and town guard to finally drive all the deer back into the park.

Among the commotion, nobody paid notice to two samurai, other one of them pushing a cart, hurrying through the district and out of the town – and so the _s__ō__hei _arriving later didn't find anyone that had seen them.

* * *

Outside of Nara, the two samurai walked on. It was still very early in the morning, the sunrise still a couple of hours away.

"Okay, technically that was a win. But that last part of it was just an accident. And kind of embarrassing. What kind of deer-bait you have in here?" Kagami asked, and started to rummage through the cart.

"It's probably the jar of buckwheat. I think they feed the deer with buckwheat."

"Why do you have buckwheat … actually, never mind. But it's definitely your turn to push this cart today. Too bad that I can't fit into that thing; it would be your turn to give me a ride!"

"I will give you a ride of your life, any time! You just have to ask … hey, Kagami, they are still following us!"

Kagami turned around and shouted, "Come on! Are you sore losers? Accept your defeat …"

Konata giggled. "I don't think those deer will understand you."

"Bah. Why didn't you say it was deer following us? Shoo! Shoo!" Kagami shouted, and swung the bamboo rod at the animals.

"Kagami, you can leave the buckwheat to them. One of them already stuck its slimy snout into it earlier, so we can't use it."

"Eww." Kagami took the jar and poured the buckwheat onto the ground.

"You won't be getting homemade _soba_ noodles, though."

"You know how to make those?"

"It's a long story, but I can cook and I know how to make lots of things. Would homemade _udon_ be okay?"

"If you can make that, I will be impressed, for once."

"Let's go. I'll tell you about it on the way. The story starts in the town of Izumi. It was a dark, stormy night. Lady Daimyo was just about to give birth …"

An abridged version of Konata's incredible exploits in her youth and her travels from everywhere – from Okinawa to Hokkaido – followed.

"… and so, while I valiantly defended the field kitchen, not even I managed to dodge all the musket bullets whirling through the air. And so I was hit on the head. After that, you saw me lying on that battlefield, and you know most of the rest."

"Konata, that story wasn't true."

"Eh? Okay, would you believe that I was born in Kyūshū, and that I am a daughter of a very influential vassal of Shimazu clan …"

"No."

Konata stopped.

Kagami stopped as well and turned to face Konata. "Why don't you tell me the truth … wait, what's with the long face?"

"The truth is that … I can't remember. The first thing I remember is seeing you on the battlefield. And later, waking up on the same battlefield."

"You have lost your memory?"

"Yeah. I did have that scroll with me, you remember, the one that lists members of Izumi clan. And I do remember that my first name was Konata. And I had this big sword and I knew how to use it."

"What else?"

"Later I discovered that I can cook all sorts of things, and that I love _shunga_ and _manga_. And … well, you know what else."

"What a strange combination of traits. I can't think of any clan having such hobbies. However …"

"Yeah?"

"There are only very few fencing schools and _sensei_ that teach _ōdachi._ We could visit those and see whether we can find out anything."

"Great idea! Thank you, Kagami!"

"Come to think of it, your spontaneous posture in battle reminds me of _Itō Ittōsai._ We should visit her if we can. There's a problem, though – I have no idea where she is these days."

"Panties!"

"Wh – what?" Kagami said.

"What kind of panties you are wearing?"

"None! You know as well as I that only men wear _fundoshi_! And some women have an obsession about them," Kagami growled, eyeing Konata. _"And I think I know someone who has this obsession…"_ she thought.

"Oh. Right. I forgot."

"And what made you ask such things all of a sudden!"

"I was just testing whether that was within reasonable limits."

"Let's put some kind of a limit on the testing. At least give me a warning beforehand."

"Ah well. So, now we are going to Kyōto?"

"Yeah. I'd still like to visit the temples. Besides, we can meet the others again."

* * *

That evening, they camped into a small patch of forest nearby the road. Skillfully and with obvious experience, Konata put together a campfire, dug out lots of stuff from the cart and started mixing water and flour in a pot, humming a happy tune while she occupied herself.

Kagami was lying on her back, watching Konata with fascination.

"Look at you. No goals in life. No responsibilities, no obligations. You just live each day as it comes," Kagami said.

Konata stopped for a while and looked at Kagami. "You too, and it's the happiest time of your life."

It took for a long time before Kagami answered, "Yeah … you are right. I don't remember being this happy for years. Perhaps … never."

"However, I should note that I do have responsibilities and goals in life!" Konata exclaimed.

"You do?"

"Yeah, I have to take care of you now."

"I think it's the exact opposite! It's I who has to take care of you."

"Really? So how was your life before we met?"

"That's … I … well …" Kagami stuttered. She was unable to answer. The truth was that during her years alone she had felt as if living in _Meifumadō_ – the Buddhist hell.

"So, in taking care of me, you actually take care of yourself."

"I'm tired, so let's forget about philosophical talk for now. And I'm hungry. What are you making?"

"_Udon_, as I said."

"No way!"

"You just watch."

Konata sprinkled some more flour onto the dough, stretched it, folded it, and repeated this many times, producing more and thinner strands each time.

"That's amazing! I never learned to cook anything, but that … looks very difficult."

"Yeah, well, I don't know where or how I learned this. Or perhaps it's just a natural talent."

Konata had a pot of boiling water ready, and she put the noodles in. She prepared two bowls, placed some ingredients into them, and just a minute or two later, lifted the noodles from the pot with chopsticks, placed portions of them into the bowls, and poured hot broth from another smaller pot on the top.

"Here you are! _Kitsune udon_ from the Fox to the lady Rabbit!" Konata said, and brought a bowl and chopsticks to Kagami.

"What did you call me? … Meh, I don't even care. This looks so delicious!"

"And that's all you get! No second helpings tonight. Since I mostly like your body as it is now – lean and mean, but some flesh over the bones. Although ... perhaps I should make you drink milk. I've heard certain parts of your body grow if you drink that!"

Kagami, with her mouth full of hot _udon_, managed to keep it from spluttering all over, just because she didn't want to waste any of it.

* * *

I'd better just let this get stuck all the time and let my subconscious to do the work. So, by my standards, this story will come up slowly. The end of this chapter isn't particularly humorous, but I didn't try to force it. It never works.

They are probably not quite in-character compared to LS itself. But this is a different world, and they are practically grown-ups, not high school girls. Perhaps the humor, at least, is a bit Lucky Star'ish – it's the kind of humor I like.

_Shika senbei_: if you want to feed the deer in Nara, look for these kanji: 鹿煎餅 and buy the biscuits. Some web sites say they are made of buckwheat, other ones say rice. Who knows. I presumed it is buckwheat.


	6. Naked Communion

**Lucky Dragon and Chum, chapter 6: Naked Communion**

This is a sequel to Seven Lucky Stars, but unrelated. You don't have to read that story if you don't want to. The background is explained in detail at the end of the first chapter. In short, the story is set in 16th-century Japan and the characters of Lucky Star are wandering samurai. Gender roles are reversed in this world.

Rated T for more or less twisted humor, mildly erotic scenes, some violence, etc.

I don't own Lucky Star or its characters. Sure would like to…

* * *

"That really hit the spot!" Konata said.

"I have to admit that it was delicious."

"So … about the sleeping arrangements …"

"I can just crouch down here, near the fire. Don't worry about me. You can sleep anywhere you want. Like, in the cart – I can't really understand how you fit into a baby cart, even as small as you are."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Kagami, do you really think I would be satisfied with that? I got something in the cart that will make us both comfortable."

"Don't tell me you have futons there."

"Not exactly. But I do have a large straw mat for two."

"What, do you expect me to sleep with you?"

"Oh, Kagami, that's a big step for us. Are you sure you are ready?"

"_Baka!_ I meant sleeping! Sleep, nothing else!"

"Yeah, I know. It's just fun to tease you."

Konata rolled the straw mat open and placed it down beside their campfire. She lied down onto the mat, leaned her head on her arm and watched Kagami. Sighing, Kagami got up, walked to Konata and lied down next to her. Kagami closed her eyes so that she wouldn't have to see Konata's smile.

After a while, Konata started to squirm, and wriggled closer to Kagami – pressing herself against her.

"Konata. What are you doing?"

"There's a tree root below the mat pressing my side. I had to move."

Kagami opened her eyes, grasped Konata, pulled her into her side of the mat, and crawled over her to the other side. "There. You can sleep on that side and we both have more space."

Konata giggled.

"_What's so funny?"_ Kagami thought. Then she felt it – there indeed was a tree root, pressing painfully against her hip. She turned and squirmed, and found out that the only comfortable spot was very close to Konata. In fact, she soon found herself pressed against Konata.

"I told you …" Konata said. "And this was the best spot I could find for the mat."

"How am I supposed to know when you are kidding and when you aren't?"

"Kagami, have I ever lied to you about anything?"

This question silenced Kagami for a while. She thought about it, trying to remember all their conversations.

"No … you haven't, actually. Except that you made up those stories about your life."

"That was just for fun, I did tell you how things really are."

"Okay. So you haven't lied to me."

"But you have lied to me …"

"What?"

"Let's just shut up and go to sleep. That's what you would have said soon, _neh_?" Konata whispered, and closed her eyes. It took some time for Kagami to catch sleep. Because what Konata had said was true.

* * *

For years, Kagami had slept alone and often in very austere conditions. She had spent weeks and weeks in wilderness, training with sword. She had rarely slept indoors or on a futon. But this morning, she felt warm and comfortable, and didn't want to wake up. As she finally forced herself to open her eyes, she realized that she was hugging Konata tightly, with her arm around her. And Konata was awake, a huge grin on her face and staring her directly into the eyes. "Morning, Kagami! You look so _kawaii _when you are asleep!"

Very quickly, Kagami got up, blushing brightly. "Stop saying such things! Women are not supposed to be cute anyway. That's men's job. They should look pretty, raise the kids and run the household."

"Don't worry. You are very feminine. Rough, tough, and violent!"

"Somehow that didn't sound any better."

"Never satisfied! Anyway, do you want to take a bath before breakfast?" Konata said, pointing at a certain direction.

Kagami's eyes followed, and indeed, there was a bathtub nearby, full of steaming water. Her jaw dropped open.

"But how …?" she started, but then noticed the wheels and the push handle. It was the cart. Now filled with water.

"Is that thing waterproof?"

"Remember when I suggested that my disguise should include a diaper?"

Flabbergasted by this apparent sudden change of subject, Kagami could only stare at Konata.

Konata giggled nervously, and continued, "Well, this is a bit embarrassing … I had a little accident in it …"

"When? And how did you …? Never mind, I don't want to hear it!" Kagami quickly added, fearing Konata would tell about it with too much detail.

"Anyway, that's how I discovered that the cart is waterproof."

"I hope you cleaned it!"

"Don't worry. I did. So, do you want to take a bath before breakfast? The food is almost ready. Or even better, do you want to take your breakfast in the bath? I can feed you!"

"I'll take a bath first," Kagami said. It took just a few seconds before she realized what that would mean, and blushed.

"There's some warm water in this pot so you can wash yourself first."

"C-could you look away while I …?"

"Why? I thought you didn't care? Hmm … I can strip naked as well! Would that make you more comfortable?"

"No! I … uh …" Kagami stuttered. Because she had claimed she is only interested in the way of the warrior, there wasn't any reason to be ashamed. _"Perhaps I shouldn't have lied…"_ she thought. Slowly, she started to take her kimono off. Adding to her embarrassment, Konata sat down and enjoyed the show.

Since Konata didn't make any embarrassing remarks or lewd expressions, Kagami got used to the situation after a little while. After washing, she slowly lowered herself into the hot water.

Konata filled a bowl with rice, decorated it with _nori_ stripes and an _umeboshi_, and walked to Kagami. Taking a mouthful of rice to the chopsticks, she brought it near to Kagami's mouth.

"Open!" Konata commanded.

"The last time we did this you fell into the bath."

"Thanks for the invitation, but sadly, we can't both fit into this one together."

"I wasn't inviting you in! I just wanted to warn you."

"Open your mouth. Here comes the kite!"

"What?"

From behind the trees, a familiar person suddenly appeared. It was the familiar _s__ō__hei_ with a bandage around her head.

"Oh, come ON!" Kagami groaned. Konata put the rice bowl and chopsticks down and grasped her sword sheath.

"Oh! I'm very sorry! I didn't mean to disturb your … activities. I'll wait nearby and come back later," the _s__ō__hei _said and bowed.

"I can't enjoy my bath if you do that. Just say what you need to say! If it's a duel you want, it will have to wait a while."

"No, actually … I tracked you down because I wanted to apologize. And to request becoming your follower."

Both Konata and Kagami looked at her with disbelief.

The _s__ō__hei_ knelt down and kowtowed to the ground. "My name is Kō Yasaka. I am very sorry that I didn't immediately acknowledge the might of the Legendary Samurai A and, especially, her sidekick, the legendary swordswoman, Pigtailed _Tsundere_ Dragon! I really needed a hit on the head and yet another defeat to realize it."

"Pigtailed _Tsundere_ Dragon!" Konata shouted, and let out a roaring laughter.

"Sidekick!" Kagami yelled. "Who made me the sidekick!"

"Sorry! But that's how you two are described these days. There's a new legend about you two and five other samurai defending a village against bandits …"

"Who is the fool who invented those nicknames? I'd like to do … something indescribable to her!" Kagami growled.

"I am ashamed to say, but I don't know," the _s__ō__hei _answered. "People coming to Nara told this story but they had heard it in Kyōto."

"Kyōto? If it was Kuroi-sensei, I'll … I'll challenge her to a duel! … not a lethal one …" Kagami said.

"Kagami, just ignore it for now. You should enjoy your breakfast. Here," Konata said, and pushed the mouthful of rice again towards her.

Absent-mindedly, Kagami opened her mouth and accepted the treat. She started chewing on the rice. Konata was fascinated by this sight and looked at Kagami hungrily.

The _s__ō__hei_ jumped up, and bowed deeply several times. "Sorry for disturbing you! I'll wait you on the road ahead, if you like to speak to me again," she said, and ran away.

"At least she learned her lesson," Konata said.

Konata took the chopsticks again and stuffed some rice to Kagami's mouth.

After chewing it, Kagami said, "Hey, this is really good! For some reason, I usually burn any rice I try to cook."

Konata smiled. "Have some more. I like watching you eat … it's so erotic!"

Kagami glared at Konata, but opened her mouth anyway.

After a few mouthfuls, Kagami said, "Wait a minute! Did that … what's her name, Yasaka? … say she wanted to become my follower?"

"Yeah, she did. But you won't accept her, would you? Three's a crowd and I don't want anyone to come between us!"

"I wouldn't have phrased it quite like that, but no, I don't want any followers."

"Aww, so cute! I am the only one who Kagami wants to be with!"

Kagami's expression turned serious. After a while, she whispered, "Yeah … I think I don't want to have more people hanging around. I think it's because I was all alone for so long."

Konata waited for further confessions to come out, but Kagami didn't say anything else. She sighed, and took another mouthful of food from the bowl. _"You can't be only interested in bushido. I can feel it,"_ Konata thought.

"I will draw you out!" she accidentally vocalized her thoughts.

"What?"

"Oops! I meant, draw … I will try drawing a picture of you!"

"No! I refuse that!"

"Eh? … oh, I didn't mean a nude picture … although that would be great!"

"No nude pictures. Otherwise, I don't care. Do what you want."

* * *

Konata, having already eaten and taken a bath earlier, emptied and dried the cart and packed their things while Kagami dried herself and dressed up.

Sighing, Kagami got up and pushed her twin swords into her belt.

"Thank you, Konata. Bath and breakfast were really nice. But it took much too long time. It's past noon already."

"What's the hurry?"

"It's not that, it's just … a samurai should get up really early for morning practice. I have neglected too much training anyway."

"I hate to say it, but you're right. Even I might lose my amazing figure if I don't train. Let's train together this evening!"

"Amazing figure …? Okay, whatever gets you going. And let's take turns pushing the cart. That's good exercise."

Kagami took the first turn. As they entered the road again, they found Kō Yasaka sitting on a rock beside. When she saw the pair, she immediately knelt down and bowed deeply. "Sensei!"

"Uuu. I had already forgotten that you were here. Sorry, but I don't want any followers," Kagami said.

Yasaka hung her head down. "I understand. There can't be anyone between the sidekick and … I mean, between you two. When I saw you there, I could clearly see that you two are a pair – "

Konata giggled.

"That's not the reason I don't want followers!" Kagami groaned.

"Sorry! I shall not mention that any more. I understand. So I can't follow you, but maybe we will meet again. I should tell you that I'm not returning to Nara. I shall follow your example and seek the correct Way alone."

Kagami and Konata walked on. Yasaka remained behind, kneeling on the ground.

"Kagami, you didn't exactly deny it."

"Deny what? … no, stop it! I'm not getting into one of your verbal traps again."

"But Kagami, are we two a pa …"

"Shut up."

* * *

Title of this chapter, "Naked Communion", comes from the fact that Kagami is naked through most of it... (#^_^#)

I have always wanted to use the word, "flabbergasted". (^_^)

One couldn't exactly say "here comes the airplane" in medieval Japan, so I had to invent something else. And what do the Japanese mothers say in that situation? I tried to research that. I should have kept a record of all the weird things I have researched for my fanfics, it would be an amusing list…

Nothing in particular happens in this chapter, and it wasn't very humorous (hopefully at least a bit). I think I had to drop several really hilarious lines and scenes, because they couldn't fit into the story. That's actually something writer's guides recommend: no matter how much you like some idea, you must drop it if it doesn't fit in. Some of the ideas did fit in and do appear – in the future chapters.


	7. Event of a Lifetime

**Lucky Dragon and Chum, chapter 7: Event of a Lifetime**

This is a sequel to Seven Lucky Stars, but unrelated. You don't have to read that story if you don't want to. The background is explained in detail at the end of the first chapter. In short, the story is set in 16th-century Japan and the characters of Lucky Star are wandering samurai. Gender roles are reversed in this world.

Rated T for more or less twisted humor, mildly erotic scenes, some violence, etc.

I don't own Lucky Star or its characters. Sure would like to…

* * *

Again, Kagami took a hit on her shoulder from Konata's bamboo stick. "Ouch!"

"Look me in the eyes!" Konata said.

"… I tried that already, and I got somehow distracted all the time," Kagami muttered, rubbing her shoulder.

"Yeah, you can't stand looking at my amazingly beautiful eyes!"

"No, I think I'm just afraid of you pulling that _niramekko_ face at any moment."

"I know – I'll wear a mask. I have one in the cart," Konata said, and pulled out a grimacing, demonic mask which had pointed horns and metallic teeth.

"I'm afraid to ask why you have a _Hannya_ mask in the first place."

"Well, you never know where one could be useful! Like now."

They tried to continue their practice with Konata wearing the mask. "No … this isn't working either. That mask is scary and yet it almost makes me laugh."

Kagami noticed that several people traveling along the road had stopped by and looked at them with their mouths open.

"What? Haven't you seen anyone training swordswomanship before?"

"Why are you talking to the audience? What kind of show is this?" someone in the crowd asked.

"We are not traveling actors!" Kagami shouted, and took a step towards the onlookers, waving her bamboo stick. The crowd quickly scattered.

"Kagami, you are scarier than this mask. Calm down."

Kagami stood in the middle of the road, breathing heavily. Wearily, she lowered the bamboo stick and leaned on it. "Sorry … they thought I was an actor. Don't you know that it's one of the worst insults? Perhaps only calling me a merchant or an _eta_ could be worse. As a samurai, I was taught to defend my honor."

"Weird. I am a samurai but I don't care."

"Are you? … Sorry. I know you are! Nobody but a samurai can handle a sword like you."

"But I can't remember. What will you do, Kagami, if it turns out that I am not a samurai?"

"I … don't know."

Konata took the mask off and, for once, looked quite serious.

Ashamed, Kagami turned away and muttered, "Sorry …"

Konata laughed. "What kind of comeback was that? I'm the _boke_, so you're supposed to be the _tsukkomi_!"

Kagami swung around. Konata was grinning widely.

"What if I am really from a merchant family? Or actor? Or – _eta_? Would that make any difference?" Konata said.

Kagami felt the heat on her cheeks – once again, Konata had made her blush. She drew a deep breath.

"No … yes. What difference? … I don't know! Don't ask me such things!" she groaned.

"I didn't know Kagami could look so _moe_!" Konata said, and giggled. "Anyway, on guard!" she shouted, and dashed at Kagami, swinging her bamboo stick.

Reflectively, Kagami parried, stepped towards Konata and hit her arms from below. Konata lost her grip from her bamboo and rubbed her arms.

"Oh. Are you okay?" Kagami asked.

"I'm fine. Great reflexes. I think the question is, are _you_ okay?"

"Damn it! Why don't you get angry or upset?"

"Why should I?"

"Because I … about you being from a merchant family or something …"

"What about that?"

Kagami smirked. "Okay, you won the discussion part of our sparring."

"What do you mean?" Konata said, smiling innocently.

"Please stop already."

"But Kagami, you talk in riddles."

"Never mind. Let's just go on."

* * *

Few more days of leisurely travel had passed. Slowly, Kagami realized that she enjoyed Konata's cooking, baths and the other entertainment she provided, to an extent of enjoying all of it too much. _"I didn't want this journey to end. That can't be a good sign. I must pull myself together …"_ she thought.

They turned around a bend in the road and, in the distance, saw their destination for the first time. Earthen embankments now surrounded the city, which had also grown significantly since Kagami last saw it over two years ago.

"Kyōto, finally!" Konata announced.

"This place sure has changed. I don't remember those embankments. And there seems to be entirely new districts …"

"I understood this is Lady Hideyoshii's capital now?"

"Yeah. We'd better keep a low profile. Technically, you are still her enemy and I'm her vassal. And I have even met her – I hope she doesn't remember me."

"But Kagami, we are already famous in this city," Konata said and giggled.

"Damn! I had forgotten that legend. At least it didn't include our names."

Konata stopped, looked at the cart, then at Kagami, then the cart again.

"Oh no. You don't mean …?"

"I'm afraid so. It's time for our disguises again! And, I hate to say it, but you have to change your hairstyle. Perhaps a ponytail? I think it will look good on you!" Konata said, and despite claiming to dislike the situation, she was grinning widely.

"Stop enjoying this disguises stuff. We are only doing it to avoid trouble!"

"This time, I'd better include …"

"No! Don't say anything about diapers! Or breast-feeding! I can't stand it. Oh no, I said it myself …" Kagami groaned, and rubbed her temples.

"Sit down; I'll do your ponytail."

Reluctantly, Kagami sat down on a stone beside the road. Konata unraveled Kagami's pigtails and started to comb her hair.

"Konata, what are you doing?"

"Taking care of your hair."

Kagami sighed. Konata's attention and touch gave her the familiar mixed feelings of embarrassment combined with enjoyment. _"I am so confused …"_ she thought.

"Done! Actually, ponytails turn me on. You should always have one. It looks so _moe_ on you that it's criminal!"

"Are you retarded?" Kagami snapped.

Kagami felt something warm, soft and wet pressed against the side of her neck. This touch sent a rushing, tingling feeling through her entire body. She jumped up, rubbing the place where Konata had kissed her.

"_Baka! Baka! Baka! _Ewwwwwwwww!" Kagami screamed.

Konata's eyes were shining as she stared at her hungrily. "Sorry! I couldn't resist doing that. And you taste so good that I'd like to eat you!" she panted.

Kagami screamed, "Never do that again! That was … that was … that was …"

"… great?"

"No!"

"… exhilarating?"

"No!"

"… arousing?"

"Shut up!"

"Kagami, are you really sure you never want to do that again?"

"That was … beyond the reasonable limits!"

"Okay. I won't kiss you on the neck then," Konata said, while arranging the things in the cart to make room for herself. She tied her hair up and set up a scarf to cover it.

Kagami looked away, to avoid seeing the unbearably cute baby disguise again. _"Uh … I feel dizzy after she did that. I must get used to her jests! I … don't want us to separate. No matter what she does …"_

"Mama?" Konata cooed. Kagami turned around and saw her in the cart, looking very much like a baby to any casual observer.

"Eww! I'll never get used to that! It's just too … weird."

"Gaga? Dada?"

"Stop that! That makes it a hundred times worse!"

Kagami walked around the cart and started to push it towards the city gates.

* * *

There was a short line of people waiting at the city gate. Seeing that none of them were samurai, Kagami cut to the front of the line. None of the ordinary folk dared to protest.

Guards at the gate looked at them with great curiosity.

"Excuse me, samurai-hime," one of the guards said, "may I check your baby?"

"Absolutely not."

"But we have orders to check all the children brought in. You need a license to bring male children into the city."

"What?"

"Yes, well, there have lately been many cases of unregistered male employees. People try to avoid taxes …"

"How dare you! My … baby is female, besides, she is not going to be an 'employee' of any sort!"

"Oh. Then it is okay. But may I check her gender, just in case?"

Image of baby Konata's gender being checked in public rose into Kagami's already anxious mind.

"Are you … calling me a liar? I am Kagami of the Hiiragi clan!"

Baby Konata started to cry, "Waah! Waah!"

"… See! Now you made her cry! Get out of my way!" Kagami shouted, and pushed the cart towards the guards. They didn't dare to stop her.

"Kagami, you shouldn't have told them your real name," Konata whispered.

"… I couldn't think of anything else at the moment. Besides, does it really matter?"

However, a figure was lurking in the shadows beside the gate. After seeing and hearing this episode, the mysterious stranger took off and ran through the back alleys.

* * *

After they had traveled a few blocks, Kagami parked the cart into an alley, and Konata took off her disguise.

"We can't pull that off all the time," Kagami sighed, and wiped her brow.

"I want to visit _Jishu Jinja_ first!" Konata announced.

"What?"

"Jishu Shrine. Of Ōkuninushi-no-mikoto. It's is behind _Kiyomizu-dera_ hill so we can then climb there."

"Goddess of love and marriage? Why do you want to visit that place?"

"Isn't it obvious? I want to know my love fortune. Kagami, don't you desire any love in your life?"

"It's not that I wouldn't want any, but I have dedicated my life to the Way of the Sword. That leaves no room for love."

"We'll see about that!"

"No, we won't!"

"At least check you love fortune. If it sucks, you know that you are doing okay on your Way."

"That sounded … twisted. But, okay, let's do it then. Otherwise you will whine about it all day. But from now on, we have to drop that baby disguise. We got to think of something else."

"Yeah, for some reason you don't see it arousing."

"That's not the reason!"

Slowly, they walked through Kyōto, going around the steep hill of Kiyomizu-dera. Konata stopped several times to watch _shunga_ and manga prints.

"Oh, come on. You can look at those another day," Kagami complained.

"But there might be something great that is just going out of print!"

"Why don't you get a more refined hobby, like tea ceremony, archery, poetry or painting?"

"Those things are either tiresome or boring. And they take fifty years or so to learn. I don't even know if I live that long!"

Kagami stopped. "W-what?"

"You know what I mean. That's why we wiped out all those bandits. That's why those _s__ōhei_are no match to us."

Of course Kagami knew. _"Every fight is to the death. Either you win or die …"_

"So let's live every day as if it was our last! Okay?"

Kagami didn't answer, and was silent all the way to the _Jishu_ Shrine.

Excited, Konata bounced around. "There's the love fortune draw! Come!"

Konata dropped a coin into donation slot, got the _omikuji_ container and shook it for a very long time. The priestess standing nearby started to look nervous, before Konata finally stopped and pulled one of the sticks out.

"This must be it!" She got the indicated folded paper, opened it and grinned widely. "_Daikichi!_ Excellent fortune, I knew it! It's your turn, Kagami."

"But I don't want to …"

"Why?"

"I just …"

"Kagami, for once, tell me the truth."

Kagami took a deep breath. "Fine. If my love fortune is excellent, that means I might abandon the Way. And if it's horrible, I will … stay as miserable as I am …" Kagami whispered the last part really quietly and hung her head down. Konata was just barely able to hear it. She looked worriedly at Kagami, as she picked up the container.

After getting the paper, Kagami opened and read it. Konata couldn't interpret her expression.

"How is it? Show it to me!"

"_Hankichi_ …"

Konata burst into a roaring laughter. "Half-luck! After what you just said, that was the best possible result!"

"Ehh … what does it mean?"

"It means you will be a great swordswoman _and _you will also get love, of course!"

"I'm not quite convinced, but … thank you. And maybe I should follow your advice."

"Yeah, a ponytail does look good on you!"

"No, I meant living each day as if it was my last."

"That means we must next walk between the love stones!"

"What does that mean?"

"See that stone over there. You start from there, close your eyes, and if you can walk to that other stone over there successfully, you will be lucky in love."

Impatiently, Konata grabbed Kagami's hand and led her to the first stone.

"You go first! Take a good look, and then close your eyes."

Kagami sighed and did as she was told to do. She started walking towards the other stone. Her senses honed by years of practice, she easily reached the other stone but bumped her knee into it.

"Ouch. I did it. What's next?" she said, still keeping her eyes shut.

It was the event of a lifetime. Almost too good to be true. _"Excellent love fortune! And it worked right away!"_ Konata thought. "Now you must wait, don't move and don't open your eyes yet!" she exclaimed.

Konata climbed onto the love stone, and, assisted by its height, she was easily able to reach Kagami's mouth with her own. She placed her lips onto Kagami's, and kissed her passionately, wrapping her arms around her at the same time.

Kagami's eyes opened wide but she didn't pull away. The world spun in her eyes and she felt her knees almost buckling. She lost all sense of time and didn't know how long it lasted. Finally, minutes or seconds later, Konata stopped and let her go.

Kagami was unable to speak or to respond in any way. She regained the control of her limbs and the first thing, besides Konata, she saw was a large crowd of people staring at them.

Blushing brighter than ever, Kagami dashed to the cart and started to push it away, towards the exit. Konata jumped off the stone and ran after her. This time, even Konata was rendered speechless for a moment.

Only after climbing a few hundred yards along the road to the main temple, Konata spoke.

"Kagami – " but she was never able to finish that sentence.

"No! Don't say anything! I can't talk about that, I can't even think about that. Temporary insanity!"

"Do you mean yourself or me?"

"… both!"

* * *

I wrote the first two sketches, then – mainly because I thought they lacked humor – I tried to rewrite them or drop them altogether, but in the end, they remained almost in the way I first wrote them. All this took a very long time. Shows that I just should keep writing and not worry about it. The thing I mostly worry about is the lack of humor. But the next chapter will have more.

_Hannya_ mask depicts a vengeful and jealous woman turned into an angry and resentful demon. It usually has pointed horns, metallic eyes, and teeth.


	8. Stairway to Heaven

**Lucky Dragon and Chum, chapter 8: Stairway to Heaven**

This is a sequel to Seven Lucky Stars, but unrelated. You don't have to read that story if you don't want to. The background is explained in detail at the end of the first chapter. In short, the story is set in 16th-century Japan and the characters of Lucky Star are wandering samurai. Gender roles are reversed in this world.

Rated T for more or less twisted humor, mildly erotic scenes, some violence, etc.

I don't own Lucky Star or its characters. Sure would like to…

* * *

Kagami pushed the cart up the hill at a furious pace. The effort helped her to take her mind off what had just happened, at least a bit. _"I refuse to think about it … and how it felt … no, stop it!"_ she commanded herself.

"Whew, Kagami, wait a moment! There's no need to hurry," Konata said.

But Kagami didn't stop until she got into the temple. Being distressed, she failed to notice several shady characters lurking among the crowd. Many of them were scarred or had a limp or some other ailment.

She parked the cart outside and rushed in. Not being quite herself, she walked to the altar, tossed a coin into the donations, rang the bell, clapped her hands together … and then stopped.

"_Oh. I don't even know what I'm praying for … peace of mind, probably."_

Frustrated, she raised her head and walked outside, to the stage of Kiyomizu temple. She took a deep breath of the fresh breeze, trying to clear up her head. She didn't look, but she sensed that Konata had also arrived and was standing beside her.

Among the other temple-goers, there were two girls dressed in _yukata_ – another looking ten years old, and having cute pigtails – the other, a teenager with somewhat absent-minded look on her face.

"They say that if you jump off the stage at _Kiyomizu_, you wish is granted," the little pigtailed girl said. "Oh no! Osaka-san! Forget what I said! Don't jump!" she quickly added, grasping the sleeve of her teenager friend.

"But, Chiyo-chan, I have an idea. If I jump and then wish for the ability to fly really quickly, I wouldn't even hit the ground!" Osaka said. She snatched her sleeve free from Chiyo-chan's grasp, dashed forward and leaped over the railing.

A loud thump could be heard from below. "Osaka-san! Are you okay?" Chiyo-chan yelled.

"I don't know! It hurts a lot! And I have to jump again – I thought about something else and forgot to make the wish!" Osaka shouted from below.

Konata and Kagami looked at this episode, then at each other.

"Konata, after all … even you are not quite _that_ weird – thank _kami-hime!_" Kagami said.

"So what would you wish for if you got a wish?" Konata asked.

"… I … eh …"

"You'd better decide, if you want to write an _ema_ plaque later," Konata said.

While thinking about a wish, Kagami sensed that something was not quite right. Several people within the temple were moving in a way that suggested that they were trying to surround them. She looked at Konata and saw that they both had sensed the same thing.

Casually, Kagami turned around and walked through the temple hall. She stopped at one of the metal spears set onto the floor – the Spear of Benkei.

Two people came inside. The other was a tanned woman with brown hair, frowning and showing a distinctive fang in her mouth. The other, a large _gaijin_ woman with orange hair and a scarf tied around her neck.

"Kagami, it's Misao, the bandit leader. And the other one is the musket-using _gaijin_ – Patty? So they both survived…"

Several other bandits had surrounded them from behind.

"Yes, we are still alive!" Misao shouted. "And we shall avenge ourselves! So, Foul-Breath Dragon and Legendary Monkey, or whatever you were called – do you wish to commit _seppuku_ now? It would save us some trouble."

"Uh-oh," Konata said, "Now you've done it."

"What?" Misao asked. "What?" croaked the _gaijin_ as well – her voice was awfully raspy.

"You will see …" Konata said.

Kagami had grasped the impossibly heavy spear with both hands. Empowered by her anger and frustration, but still in control, she lifted the thing and swung it around in a wide arc. Konata stayed behind Kagami, watching her back and keeping out of the way. The bandits and their two leaders were swept off their feet and some of them were literally thrown away. The other temple-goers panicked and scattered into all directions.

Kagami dropped the iron spear sideways on top of Misao and Patty, pinning them down, and dashed outside. Konata followed, and jumped into the cart as Kagami started to push it away at a brisk pace. There were a few bandits lurking outside, but they were stuck in the crowd, half of which was trying to get out and half trying to get in to see what was going on.

"Look, it's Legendary Samurai A and her sidekick! She lifted the Spear of Benkei!" someone shouted. "No, she actually _used_ it against those guys!" – "What? Impossible!" – "See for yourself, they are lying all around the temple and two are pinned under it …"

"Yes! We are famous!" Konata said, and waved at the crowd.

"Stop that! I don't want to be famous!" Kagami groaned, and pushed the cart even faster.

"Whoops! _Sannenzaka_ hill ahead! Kagami, you'd better slow down!"

But Kagami couldn't stop the cart quite quickly enough, besides, three more bandits who had lurked in an alley, jumped at her and she had to let go. Konata looked back, but Kagami soon disappeared from her view. _"She'll be okay … I hope …"_

Konata had no time to think much, since the cart started rolling down the long slope of the Three-Year Hill. Several sections of it were actual staircases. Konata bounced up and down in the cart, as it picked up speed. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" she yelped at the bumps on the road, as she felt each one painfully on her bottom.

Down the road, pottery makers watched in horror, as the cart approached with increasing velocity. Desperately, they tried to move at least some of their pots away from the path of destruction.

Two bandits came out from one of the shops. For a moment, they watched the approaching cart and its occupant with her blue hair flying about with their mouths open. Other one of them managed to regain control, and pulled out a matchlock pistol. Seeing this, Konata drew her sword and swung it about, making the cart tilt dangerously.

The bandit with the pistol snatched a burning tobacco pipe from the other bandit, and held this improvised match to the pistol. Exactly at the moment the pistol went off, Konata, passing the bandits in the cart, swung her sword and cut through the pistol – its metal pipe cut into half, and the front part of it flying away. The device exploded in a shower of sparks, fire and smoke, and both of the bandits were thrown onto the ground and stunned.

A group of men coming up the road screamed and threw themselves away from the cart's path. "Excuse me!" Konata shouted. "Sorry about that!"

Miraculously, the cart didn't topple or swerve off the road through the rest of the entire Three-Year Hill. Konata was tossed about in the cart, and ended up with her head over heels.

Finally, the cart reached a more level area and slowed down. Konata pulled herself upright and peeked out of the cart, rubbing both her head and her bottom – the latter having received many bruises from the rough ride down the slope.

"Oww … that was painful!" she groaned. "But where am I …?"

She looked around and a huge grin appeared on her face. "_Gion!_"

* * *

Slowly, Konata pushed the cart through the famous geisha district of Kyōto. It was late afternoon, so most of the places were not even open yet. Still, there were almost too many things to see, including giggling _maiko_ boys in their colorful kimonos, faces painted white and blackened teeth, passing by and casting shy glances at Konata. However, the dashing blue-haired samurai didn't seem to be interested in them.

"_It's a long way back to Kiyomizu temple. I can't get there in time anyway. She'll survive. I hope..."_

The numerous woodprint shops offering all sorts of _manga_ and _shunga_ took her mind off these slightly disturbing thoughts. She took her time visiting several of the shops. By a stroke of luck, she had found a purse full of coins in the cart. _"Nice that Kagami left her purse here. She probably wanted me to buy whatever I wanted!"_

"Tamura-san!" Konata shouted, when she saw the woman in _gaijin_ goggles, hanging around the woodprint shops.

"Oh, it's Izumi Legendary Samurai A –sama!" Hiyori said and bowed deeply. "How nice it is to see you here! I came here to sell some of my work. And pictures of you two are all the rage now. There are lots of legends about you. I heard you have been seen making out in public! In a temple!"

"Uwa! That was, like fifteen minutes ago!" Konata said, and giggled. "And it wasn't like that … oh well,", she added.

"But where's Hiiragi-sama?"

"She was … delayed. She should be here soon."

"Did you know that the others are here too? I mean the samurai who saved our village. I am going to visit them to pay my respects. They are at Kurama Onsen."

"Great! I'll be there later. I'd better find Kagami first."

Realizing she had been loitering for an hour or more, Konata hurried back to the base of _Sannenzaka_ hill.

To her great relief, she saw Kagami sitting beside the road. She seemed to be okay – but her expression worried Konata. _"She isn't happy …"_

"Kagami! I'm here!"

"So you survived," Kagami sighed, trying to sound disappointed instead of relieved.

"Yeah, but it was a rough ride. My bottom feels tender like pounded meat. Look – is it all black and blue?" Konata said, pulling her kimono up, _hakama_ down, and mooning Kagami.

Kagami failed to look away in time.

"Don't show me your butt!"

"But it hurts! Could you massage it?"

"Certainly not!" Kagami shouted and jumped up. "Cover yourself! We are in public! At least this time there isn't anyone around."

Sighing, Konata pulled her _hakama_ up and closed her kimono.

Kagami glared at Konata, with her fists clenched.

"Kagami? Is something the matter?"

"Were have you been! I was worried sick! I thought you had crashed and died. I ran after you as soon as I could. And you had disappeared!"

At first, Konata smiled, and then it turned into a huge grin.

"Wh-what?"

"Kagami was worried about me! I'm so touched …"

Quickly, Kagami walked past Konata, grabbed the push-handle and started to push the cart away. She tried to hide her face.

"_Deredere …"_ Konata thought. "It's no use, Kagami. I know you," she said, and followed her.

"No, you don't."

"You are also upset about what happened up there."

"I am already used to everyone attacking us."

"I meant what happened at the Love Stones and you know it."

"Oh, you mean that. It was … just gross. Nothing else. Didn't mean anything."

"So you shouldn't be upset at all."

"Yes. No! I don't know. Let's stop talking about it."

They walked in silence for a while.

"Oh, and we are staying at Kurama Onsen. Your treat! Everyone else is there too, by the way."

"Who? Do you mean Kuroi-sensei and the others?"

"Yeah."

"It's … nice to see them again. I think."

"Thank you for these woodprints, by the way."

"So that's what you were doing while I was waiting here and worrying about you!"

"Sorry. I will make it up to you somehow."

"Now you made me worry about that!"

"Really? Have I ever done something bad to you?"

"Not bad as such, but really embarrassing things."

"But we have made lots of memories."

"Oh yes. I won't forget most of the things you've done to me!"

"And we have become famous. Have you heard the latest story about us?"

"No, and I don't even want to hear it!"

"I'd better warn you. It's about what happened at the Love temple."

"Aargh!" Kagami groaned, and pushed the cart through the gateway to Kurama Onsen.

After calming down for a while, she said, "Konata, get us a room. If there's any of my money left after you bought all those lewd pictures. I'm going straight to a private bath."

"Right-o! Leave everything to me! Mama-san, a room, private bath, and a dinner for a couple, please!" Konata said to an elderly woman who had arrived to welcome them.

"A couple …" Kagami muttered, but felt too tired to protest. A servant showed her the way to the private baths.

Kagami had just washed herself and entered the bath, when Konata arrived.

"Kuroi-sensei and the others are still resting. Apparently they had a big party last night. We can see them after dinner," Konata explained, while taking her clothes off.

"I said I wanted a private bath!"

"Don't worry; I told them that we must not be disturbed."

"No! I meant … never mind. I don't know whether you just don't get it or just choose not to."

"I understood what you meant, but you don't really want to be alone."

Kagami didn't reply. She covered her eyes with her wet towel and leaned back. _"She's right … despite all the embarrassment, I … want to be with her. Why can't I say it? Would it really mean the end of the Way? I will seriously think about it this night."_

"Kagami, do you want me to massage your shoulders?"

"No."

"Your feet then?"

"No."

"Well, can I massage your …"

"No! You may not massage any part of my body!"

"You can massage any part of _my_ body if you want to."

"No, I don't want to! Let me just enjoy this bath in peace and quiet."

* * *

This just keeps getting longer and longer; at least two chapters will still be coming up. Or even more.

Osaka and Chiyo-chan from _Azumanga Daioh_ make a cameo appearance.

_Sannenzaka_ is the Three-Year Hill shown in the anime. It's one of the streets down from _Kiyomizu-dera_ temple. The street is known as a centre for ceramic production. Many of the shops which line these streets sell fine pottery and traditional Kyōto souvenirs. They are very busy streets but the atmosphere is wonderful with traders selling their wares, tourists from all nations milling around and rickshaw drivers touting for business. They also provide the most interesting route from _Kiyomizu-dera_ temple to the Gion Geisha area.

Some of the places didn't even exist in 16th-century Japan, but does anyone care? Neither did the word _kawaii_ and hundreds of other things.

Inspirations, in addition to those already mentioned:

Movies: "Seven Samurai", "The Naked Gun 33 1/3" (and "The Untouchables"; and "Battleship Potemkin")


	9. Aa, Hiiragisama! Feeling of Déjà Vu?

**Lucky Dragon and Chum, chapter 9: Aa, Hiiragi-sama! That Strange Feeling of Déjà Vu!**

This is a sequel to Seven Lucky Stars, but unrelated. You don't have to read that story if you don't want to. The background is explained in detail at the end of the first chapter. In short, the story is set in 16th-century Japan and the characters of Lucky Star are wandering samurai. Gender roles are reversed in this world.

Rated T for more or less twisted humor, mildly erotic scenes, some violence, etc.

I don't own Lucky Star or its characters. Sure would like to…

* * *

Konata entering the same bath made it difficult for Kagami to relax. But since Konata didn't talk or try anything funny, she was slowly relaxing. Until a voice from behind the door said: "Sorry to disturb you, samurai-sama, but you have visitors."

"Go away! I don't want to see anyone!" Kagami yelled.

"Sorry, but they are very persistent – " the voice was cut and the door slid open.

The bandit leaders, Misao and Patti stood in the doorway.

"Always when I'm bathing!" Kagami groaned. Her sword was within an arm's reach, but before she even considered taking it, both bandits knelt down and put their foreheads onto the floor.

Tiredly, Kagami said, "Let me guess. You are very, very sorry now and want to become my followers?"

"Aa, Hiiragi-sama! How did you know?"

"I had that strange feeling of déjà vu. Anyway, I don't want any followers."

"But _sensei_, we admit our defeat. We were so impressed when you used the Spear of Benkei! And – "

"I'm not your _sensei_! Let me take my bath in peace! Go and have a drink or something! If you insist, I will talk to you. Later!"

The pair of ex-bandits did as they were told and closed the door behind them.

Kagami sighed deeply.

"Kagami, why don't you start collecting followers? At least the good-looking ones. You could swap them with other collectors! You should also collect twins and triplets. That way you have backup copies, just in case," Konata said.

"That sounded really weird. Now, would you – would _everyone_, please, let me have my bath in peace!" Kagami shouted.

* * *

"_Onee-chan!_ Kona-chan!_"_ Tsukasa yelled, when she saw Kagami and Konata entering the dining hall.

All the others; Kuroi-sensei and Yui, and even Miyuki and Minami, accompanied by Yutaka, of course, were there and greeted them warmly, if rather loudly, and most of them already reeking of sake. To Kagami's disgust, she saw that Kuroi and Yui each had their own personal geisha boy almost sitting on their lap.

The ex-bandits, Misao and Patty, were sitting in the back, trying to look humble and repentant – but they were drinking sake and becoming increasingly relaxed, joining in to the discussion.

Kagami walked to Kuroi-sensei and said, "Have you been telling those rumors about us?"

"No! I don't know where all that has came from. We have tried to correct the mistakes in those stories each time. Have some sake, Kagami!" Kuroi said, pushing a whole _tokkuri_ at Kagami.

"Disgusting," Kagami muttered, and sat down next to Konata. The servants brought them a tray of _sashimi_ and other treats.

Kuroi-sensei stood up and announced, "Since there have been so many distorted stories about us and Kagami-san, I have asked a friend to come here and write down our true story! Come in, Tamura-san!"

The door slid open and Hiyori Tamura entered, carrying a pile of paper, an ink stone and other equipment. She bowed deeply and said, "I'm honored to hear your story and to be chosen as your chronicler. You are the hottest group of samurai around …" she fell silent and her eyes widened as she saw Misao and Patty.

"Don't worry! They have abandoned their criminal ways," Kuroi said.

"But they robbed our village and took many of our men and …" Hiyori protested.

"They will make it up somehow. In any case, isn't it better that they are here? They can tell their side of the story."

Hiyori sighed. "All right then. Let's start."

"Once upon a time …" Kuroi started. "I think I first met _onee-chan_ when she came in and said 'I was lonely!' …" Tsukasa said. "I used to be a vassal of …" Yui said. "I instantly fell in love with Kagami when she left me for dead in a battlefield …" Konata said. "We were just enjoying ourselves when our headquarters were savagely attacked …" Misao said. Everyone was talking at the same time.

"Stop, please! One at a time!" Hiyori yelled.

"_She fell in love with me!"_ was all that Kagami could think. And it made her blush brightly. Konata looked at her, grinning widely. Fortunately no one else seemed to realize what Konata had said.

After a while, Hiyori got things under control, and wrote down the entire story of the Seven Lucky Stars, how they had rescued the village from the bandits, and what happened afterwards.

The really embarrassing part came when Hiyori asked about what had happened at the Love temple today. It ended up in Kagami screaming at Konata – who honestly tried to tell the truth about it – and finally dashing out of the room.

A servant showed her where her room was. She threw her yukata on the floor and lied down, trying to relax and clear her mind. _"I was supposed to think about us and what I should do … too tired … I'll just sleep …"_

Few minutes after closing her eyes, she became aware of two hands sliding up and down her back. Someone with warm, soft hands was massaging her back muscles. She almost purred with pleasure. The touch soothed her aching muscles and sent electrifying tingles through her entire body. _"Wait a minute … I didn't ask for a massage. So what's this?"_

She opened her eyes, and the first thing she saw was a mass of blue hair brushing past her head. She looked around, and saw Konata kneeling beside her. Kagami's eye twitched, as she realized that both Konata and herself were entirely nude and covered in oil.

"Konata! What the HELL are you doing? Get off of me!"

Next thing she realized was that while they were still on a futon, this wasn't indoors. They were in the middle of the courtyard of _Jishu_ Shrine, aka the Temple of Love. A large crowd was gathered around and was staring at them.

She screamed at the top of her lungs and turned around, dropping Konata from her back. Kagami sprung up and tried to cover her body with her hands. "Konata, how did we end up doing this in public? Where are my clothes? And what are all of you staring at!" she yelled at the crowd.

"Kagami, I thought you were only interested in _bushido_. So never mind them! Come on, I want to massage every part of your body!"

Kagami ran away. The crowd made way for her. She ran down the _Sannenzaka_ hill, turned a few corners, and ended up in an _onsen_.

"Whew. Nobody is around. Maybe I can have a peaceful bath for once, to take my mind off … from all this."

Slowly, she lowered herself into the hot water and closed her eyes. After just a few moments of relaxing, she heard several voices pleading, "We are so sorry, sensei! Could we become your followers?"

Kagami opened her eyes, and saw dozens of _s__ō__hei_ and bandits kowtowing at the edge of the bath, and telling how sorry they were and how they wanted to become her followers, over and over again.

"Go away! Stop bothering me!" Kagami shouted.

"You heard the lady," Konata yelled as well. She had somehow appeared and entered the same bath as Kagami.

Muttering to themselves, the crowd of wannabe followers marched out of the door.

"Thanks, Konata. Now, can I have some peace and quiet?"

"Well, Kagami, there's something I need to do first."

Kagami sighed. "So, what it is now?"

"This …" Konata whispered, wrapped her arms around Kagami, and kissed her on the lips passionately. The world spun in Kagami's eyes. She was unable to resist, and let herself go and kissed Konata back hungrily. It felt so good, even better than it had felt at _Jinshu_ shrine. The kiss seemed to go on forever …

Kagami opened her eyes and gasped for breath. She was lying on her futon in the inn room. Konata was sitting beside her with a worried look on her face.

"Kagami, did you have a bad dream? You twitched and muttered in your sleep."

Kagami sprung up. "No! Yes … I mean, no!" she said, and buried her face in her palms.

She flinched when Konata put her hand on her shoulder. "Can't you leave me alone even in my dreams?" she groaned.

"Oo, Kagami had a wet dream about Kona-chan! How cute!"

"That's not the word I would use to describe this one…"

"So how was the dream?"

"… I don't want to talk about it. Just let me sleep."

* * *

Next morning – or, rather it was past noon – everyone was having breakfast in the common room.

Yui stood up and announced, "So, we have decided to get everyone together and offer our services to Lady Hideyoshii. I'm sure she will give a few _koku_ to myself and Kuroi-sensei!"

"Yeah, she knows about us, and I've heard she thinks we have great skills. And maybe we do!" Kuroi-sensei explained in a tone that didn't sound very humble.

"Tsukasa-kun, Miyuki-san and Minami-san will come with us. And I think we got something a few dozen ex-bandits can do as well. So, Misao and Patty, you can come too," Yui continued.

"That leaves only you two," Kuroi-sensei said, looking at Kagami and Konata.

"_Onee-chan_, are you coming with us?" Tsukasa asked.

Konata turned to look at Kagami. In fact, everyone looked at her. She had the familiar burning sensation on her cheeks again – blushing again, and knowing it made her blush even brighter.

"Why is everyone looking at me!" she snapped.

"Kagami, would you like us to settle down? You're the best, you'll easily become one of the top strategy teachers and get a fancy estate and I could live with you so you wouldn't be lonely!" Konata said.

"That sounded weird. And I haven't even thought about anything like that!"

Kagami turned around and dashed outside. Now she was certainly thinking about it. _"Me, becoming a lady or hatamoto or something … me, settling down. With … with … oh no, I can't think about that! Or even worse, they get me a husband from some prestigious family."_

Outside, she almost bumped into some ronin, who immediately said, "Oh, it's the pigtailed _tsundere_! I challenge you into a duel!"

Kagami whipped out her sword, knocked the ronin out with the flat of the blade before she could react in any way whatsoever, and sheathed the sword again – all this took less than a second.

Absent-mindedly, she said, "You interrupted my thoughts," and wandered off. After a few minutes' walk, she noticed that, by a chance, she had wandered into the street of woodprint shops.

"So these are the things _she_ likes…"

Reluctantly, she entered a few of the shops and looked at the things they offered. Most of them she didn't understand, or thought that they were just gross.

At the third shop she saw a large, colorful painting on display. It depicted two samurai women in an intimate situation. Curiously, the other samurai was much shorter and was standing on a stone so she was better able to reach the taller one. The short one had remarkably long blue hair, and the tall one two lilac-colored pigtails. All in all, the picture was work of an expert, and really beautiful.

"Do you like it? It's brand new. Those two are the legendary …"

Kagami exploded, "I know who they are supposed to be! Take that thing down immediately! Burn it! I forbid you making such pictures!"

"But samurai-sama, Lady Hideyoshii has personally guaranteed the freedom of art and art trade in this city …"

"Fine. Fine! I'll buy it! If that's the only way. Roll it up and give it to me," Kagami said, and tossed a large handful of coins into the clerk's hand without bothering to count them.

"Yes, samurai-sama! Right away!" the clerk said, and bowed deeply.

After getting the picture, she marched out and back towards Kurama Onsen.

The clerk went into the back room and told Hiyori, "Tamura-san, you should paint more copies of that Love Temple scene. It seems to be in demand!"

* * *

Kagami entered the common room. Everyone turned to look at her again. She rolled down the painting and showed it to Konata. "Look at this!"

A tear appeared in the corner of Konata's eye. "It's so beautiful … and you bought it as a gift for me! Thank you, Kagami! I love it!"

"No, I did not buy it as a gift for you! I meant, look at our reputation in this city!" Kagami shouted. "I bet Lady Hideyoshii has heard about us. Or maybe she even has seen these kinds of pictures!"

"So? Doesn't that make us even more famous?" Konata asked.

"Yes! I meant, yes, but I don't want to be a court jester!"

"You are taking it too seriously."

"Maybe I am, but I have made up my mind. I won't be joining you guys. I need to move on. Maybe I will return some day. When all this hassle has been forgotten. When I have perfected my skills."

Kagami rolled up the painting, tossed it to Konata, bowed deeply, and turned around. Just as she was walking through the doorway, Konata said, "May I come with you?"

She stopped on her tracks. Without turning around, she whispered, "Yes …"

"_Moe, moe, kyun!_" Konata exclaimed.

Kagami sighed.

* * *

They had gathered their things, eaten breakfast, which Kagami had completely forgotten, said goodbye to the others properly – as Konata insisted – and were walking through the streets, with Kagami pushing the cart.

"Kagami, before we leave, there's someone I want you to meet. Come this way."

They stopped at a small building on the edge of the city. Konata opened the door and yelled, "_Ojama shimashu!_"

A man with short blue hair, nearing his middle-ages, and wearing a grey kimono, appeared.

He said, "Hello, Konata! Hello, pigtailed _tsundere_!" and bowed.

"Kagami, meet my father."

"Your … father?" Kagami said, and her jaw fell open.

* * *

Wonder what "déjà vu" is in 16th-century Japanese... (õ_ó)


	10. Finale

**Lucky Dragon and Chum, chapter 10: Finale**

This is a sequel to Seven Lucky Stars, but unrelated. You don't have to read that story if you don't want to. The background is explained in detail at the end of the first chapter. In short, the story is set in 16th-century Japan and the characters of Lucky Star are wandering samurai. Gender roles are reversed in this world.

Rated T for more or less twisted humor, mildly erotic scenes, some violence, etc.

I don't own Lucky Star or its characters. Sure would like to…

* * *

Konata rubbed the back of her head and explained, "Well, he's not my real father, as far as I know. But he's just like a father to me! I met him here last year and he offered to store my collection. But we have the same surname. Kagami, meet Izumi Sōjirō – and, _otou-san, _here is Hiiragi Kagami."

"Your legendary sidekick lover? Oh, how delighted I am to finally meet you! I have heard lots of invigorating stories about you!" Sōjirō said, almost bouncing with excitement.

"Konata, why is that the first thing he says to us?" Kagami groaned.

"Look, _otou-san_! Here's a painting she bought to me as a present!" Konata said, and rolled down the Love Scene at _Jinshu_ Shrine.

"Hey!" Kagami yelled.

"Oh, it's so … cute! I love it! And feel free to do that – or anything you want – in this house at any time! Don't mind me! Please, don't mind me!" Sōjirō exclaimed, streams of tears flowing down his cheeks.

"Yeah. I can see why he's like a father to you," Kagami muttered.

"Dad, is the bath warm? Kagami, let's take a bath together!"

"O-okay…"

Sōjirō fell down on his knees and thanked all the _kami _for his good fortune.

"Don't worry, he won't take a peek," Konata said. "Or, I think he doesn't ... I haven't noticed."

Kagami just glared at both of them.

"Sorry! The bath is not warm, but I will start warming it instantly! Please, do take a bath together! It makes me so happy!" Sōjirō said, kowtowing to the floor.

"Thanks, dad. Kagami, I got to show you my collection while the bath is warming up!"

"But I don't want to see your collection!"

"Kagami, you promised!"

"What? No, … or well, technically I just said that your … collections and those kinds of pictures" – Kagami gestured at the Scene at Love Temple – "won't have any effect on me."

"So, we can go look at my collection then."

Kagami sighed, "I guess you won't shut up until we do."

Konata lead Kagami through a closed door at the back of the house. "Here's my room!"

Most of the room was filled with papers and canvases rolled up or piled on the floor. There was barely room for a single, wide futon.

Kagami took a suspicious look at the bed, then at Konata.

"Yeah, we will be sharing this room tonight!" Konata said.

"I guessed it."

"Sit down, I'll show you the gems of my collection first, then some of the more … hmm … detailed _shunga_!"

Again, Kagami sighed deeply. _"I guess I will put up with her tonight. After all, this might be our last time together …"_ she thought.

Konata made her look through a dozen of various works of art. At least they were not lewd ones; in fact, some of them were rather attractive. Most of them depicted women, as expected. A few were short pictured stories, _manga_, as it was called.

Kagami found herself taking a bit too much time to stare at a few of the artworks, so she developed a yawn and said, "Sorry, I'm getting a bit bored."

"Kagami, you are a poor liar."

"Okay, okay. A few of those were quite nice. Can we stop now?"

"Aww, how cute! Kagami can't wait to bathe with me!"

"No! … Show me more stuff then."

"These are a bit saucier. Are you sure you are ready to see them?"

"Of course. They won't have any effect on me anyway."

The first few pictures were rather subtle, but one by one, there was more bare skin and touching. The last ones were outright pornographic. Fascinated, Kagami was unable to look away. She became painfully aware of bright blush developing on her cheeks.

"H-how is that anatomically possible?" she stuttered when shown a certain series of pictures.

"I presume all of those are possible, since this is a guidebook for lovers like us. Too bad I never have had a chance to try those," Konata said softly, her hand brushing against Kagami's hand as she turned a page.

"Lovers like us … what! We are not lovers!"

Konata was staring at her using her best possible puppy look.

"Uhh … I … I … I got to go!" Kagami yelled, sprung up and dashed out of the room.

"She's so bashful, like a young boy," Konata said and smiled.

"I heard that!" Kagami shouted from the hallway.

* * *

Later that evening, they were dressed in clean _yukata_s and enjoying a cup of tea.

"Kagami, thanks for taking the bath together. That makes it so much better."

"Thank you for not trying anything funny, for once," Kagami said, and looking rather serious, "So, you said you want to go with me?"

"Yeah. Let's find a bigger cart so we can take baths together on the road!"

"No."

"What do you mean, no?"

"No carts. No breakfasts. No hot baths. No straw mats."

"But Kagami – "

"I go to the wilds to train. I train from dawn to dusk. I bathe under cold waterfalls. I eat whatever I happen to find, if I find anything. My life is endless hardship and a constant danger of death."

"… and loving it!"

"Well, that's how it will be. Do you still want to come?"

"Yes!"

"Do you have any idea what it is going to be like?"

"Sure. I have trained that way too!"

"For how long periods?"

"Usually, an entire day! Or even a day and a night!"

"Konata, I do it for up to two weeks at a time."

"Oh."

"Although … I can't go on challenging sword schools and _shugyosha _because I don't want to kill anyone."

"Why don't you request duels with wooden weapons?"

"I do, but they always take offence when I win every duel and eventually attack me _en masse_, with real weapons. It's hard not to kill anyone in such a situation."

"Let's not worry about that for now. I'm sure things will work out somehow."

"Thanks, Konata."

"Let's get to bed and read this _manga_ together. It's brand new, a story about distant future, about these four girls in a school where they learn all sorts of magical stuff, but mostly they just fool around. There's some _les yay_ too."

"Okay, whatever ... and I don't even want to know what that meant!"

* * *

"Before we leave Kyōtō, there is something we must do," Konata announced.

Kagami sighed. "What it is this time?"

"We must write our wish onto an _ema_ plaque and leave it at the temple. Do you know what you will wish for, Kagami?"

"… no," she whispered.

"Think about it while we go there."

"Konata is my wife!" Konata announced. "Is that what you are going to write?"

"Certainly not!"

Slowly, they walked up the street towards _Kiyomizu_ temple. For once, nobody challenged them – a few bandits did glare at them but they must have been informed about the situation.

Kagami had not tried to think about wishes; she had just tried to empty her mind. Blankly, she stared at the plaques of others which were hanging everywhere.

Konata giggled. "Hey, Kagami, there are already several _ema_ about you in here!"

"What? No, forget it! I don't want to see them …"

"Lots of people pray that they would win you, while the others would like to …"

"No! Don't read them!"

"Okay, okay. I'll write my own one then."

"Is it about me? … No, I don't want to know that either! Anyway, you gave me an idea. Give me the brush."

Quickly, Kagami scribbled her wish with the _kanji_ writing that only women were allowed to use.

"No, you may not read it!" Kagami roared at Konata, who was trying to peek.

Konata sighed and waited for Kagami to hide her plaque among the others.

"Now, can we please leave? I have had enough of this city for a while," Kagami sighed.

* * *

Two weeks later, a few farmers working on their fields were startled at the sight of two very shabby samurai emerging from the woods.

They were emaciated, dirty, and their hair was caked and tangled from standing under waterfalls. Their clothing was tattered and they were covered in bruises, cuts and grazes.

When they saw rice fields and farmhouses, Konata fell on her face and hugged the ground. "Civilization! Finally back at civilization! Kagami, could you get some peasants to carry me to the nearest inn?"

"No! We can still walk. Although I'm impressed that you didn't whine until now – well, not too much anyway. And you worked hard."

"Kagami, I know now why you are the best. You train harder every day of your life like the others never trained a day in theirs."

"Not really. My training has suffered a lot, mostly … because of you. So I decided to push us harder than usual during this time."

"Has it been two weeks?"

"No, just twelve days or so."

"The longest twelve days of my life!"

"It was hard for me too. Because, I think I don't have a clear goal in my life at the moment. I used to have one … but it involved killing people."

"So what happens next?"

"Next, you will get up and we will walk to the nearest place where we can get a bath and our clothes fixed."

Konata still lied on the ground, face down. "No, I meant in the long run. What are we going to do?"

"Since when you have thought about anything in the long run?"

"Since I realized that your training periods are like this! How often are you planning to do this?"

"Six times a year."

"Oww …"

"Get up, you lazy-bones! You were able to walk all the way here; you can walk a few more miles!"

Konata raised her head and extended her hand towards Kagami. "Help me up …"

Sighing, Kagami pulled Konata up; but she stumbled and collapsed onto Kagami's arms.

"What, are you really dead tired?" Kagami said.

"Yeah …"

"Oh well. Since you behaved well and trained hard with me, I'll give you a piggyback ride. Just this once!"

"Ohh … thank you, Kagami!"

Konata moved behind Kagami and wrapped her arms around her neck. Weakly, she lifted one knee first, then another, and Kagami took hold of Konata's legs. Konata rested her cheek against Kagami's back as she started to stagger forward.

Since Kagami knew Konata could not see her face, she didn't care that her expression softened. She smiled happily. _"It actually feels good to carry her …"_

Kagami carried Konata all the way to the nearest inn, three miles away. She knew the place; it had an excellent _furo_, thanks to the local hot springs.

"Konata? Are you awake? We are at the inn."

"Just five more minutes, mom …" Konata mumbled.

"Konata? What was your mother like?" Kagami asked. _"Did she just remember something?"_

"Kagami? I … don't know. I can't remember …"

"Okay, can you get off of my back now? We are at the inn."

"Oh."

Konata hanged on Kagami's arm while she booked a room, bath and a dinner for them.

"You are not really that tired. You slept all the way I was carrying you."

Konata mumbled something incoherent. Kagami took a ladle and threw a pint of icy cold water on Konata's face. She screamed – but definitely woke up.

"Eek! Kagami! I have had enough of cold water for a while!"

"I'm not so sure about that … Anyway, a hot bath awaits, so wash up."

After washing themselves thoroughly, they descended into the hot bath. Kagami had opted for the least hot section of the _furo_ – being outdoors for two weeks had made them accustomed to cold, not hot.

The first minutes in the bath felt like heaven.

"Kagami, this is the best bath ever. Now I start to think that those two weeks were almost worth it …"

"Yeah, it's so good to have a bath after training."

"I am in heaven. And you are an angel …"

"Hardly ..."

Konata floated to Kagami, wrapped her arms around her and pressed her body against hers.

Kagami's heart fluttered at the touch. Being half-asleep and totally relaxed, she totally forgot where she was and what she was doing. She pulled Konata even closer, tilted her head and kissed her passionately.

Konata was taken by surprise. Despite what she had just done, this was not what she had expected to happen, at all! She actually tried to struggle for a second, and then realized that this was exactly what she wanted, and what she had wanted for such a long time. She kissed Kagami back and parted her lips. Kagami responded and their tongues entwined together.

A minute or two passed, during which time Kagami slowly realized what was going on and that she liked it – no, she loved it! _"This is not a dream. I am kissing Konata … loving her … it finally happened. I can't deny it any longer."_

Finally, they had to part their lips to take a breath.

"Oh … wow …" Konata said.

"Whew! T-that was … in fact, never mind what that was! Let's not talk about it."

"I am not talking, Kagami …" Konata whispered, and locked her lips again on Kagami's.

Kagami placed her hand behind Konata's knees, her other hand around her shoulders, and lifted her up. She walked to the shallow end of the _onsen_ and started to carry Konata towards the bedroom.

* * *

Afterwards, when Konata seemed to be asleep, Kagami was still sitting on the futon. The feeling of fulfillment was overwhelming. Their entire bodies had melted together, every inch of each other's body touched. She still tasted her on her lips and smelled her scent. For the first time ever in her life, she felt perfect. Complete.

She started to cry quietly.

"Kagami? What's wrong?"

"N-nothing … I thought you were asleep."

"I can't sleep when you are crying."

"I can't live without you! And that is not the way of _bushido_. I have to find another goal for my life."

"It was not all in vain. Thanks to all that training, you now got a perfect body for me to enjoy."

"Don't joke about it …"

"Okay. So, were you happier before you met me?"

"That's not the point!"

"Did you want to be unhappy and miserable your entire life?"

Kagami was silent for a long time. Finally, she whispered, "No. I was just punishing myself. That was also an illusion, a wrong way. But … I can't be happy. Not just yet. I have to learn, how …"

"Would some more … hmm, action … make you happy?"

"Not right now, I'm too tired. How can you keep going on for so long?"

"My goal – my way is to be happy and to enjoy myself, so when there's an opportunity, I make the best of it."

"So, goofing around is your way?"

"No, to be happy and enjoy oneself is serious work! It takes a lot of effort. Like, you know that I'm pretty good with the sword?"

"It is hard to believe, but yes, you are."

"I couldn't be happy if I lost to someone challenging me. So, to be happy, I need to train swordswomanship a lot."

"Okay, okay. I don't really get it, but if you say so."

"Another thing … what also makes me happy is making you happy. And that's really hard work!"

Kagami gave Konata a bashful smile and said, "Am I that bad?"

"Yeah, it's hard to make you happy."

Blushing, Kagami stuttered, "… well … I think … this was the happiest day of my life … when I finally gave in and returned your l-love … you made me really happy."

"I love you, Kagamin."

"I … eh … I …"

"Relax, you don't have to say it now."

* * *

_Shugyosha_ used to be a wandering ronin who devotes all her (his) time practicing her (his) fighting skills.


End file.
